When Seasons End
by lissylou78
Summary: As Derek starts his new role, and begins a new relationship, he and Penelope begin to drift apart.
1. Chapter 1

Penelope grabbed her bag from her bunker and headed back to Morgan's office to see if he wanted to go out for a drink. She stopped short at the door when she heard him on the phone,

"Hey, it's me. Yeah I'm back. Listen, um…does that offer for a drink still stand?"

Penelope recognised that tone of voice. That throaty flirty voice that he used when he was talking to a lady, sure he was flirty and jokey with the girls from their team, and herself included most especially, but this was a different tone. It had been awhile since she had heard it. Her mind flashed to the cross on his desk and all of a sudden she realised why it had looked familiar. She had seen it on William Barnes, on the photos that she had filed through as the rifled through his life. She connected the dots that Derek would have gotten them from Tamara, and for him to accept it, that meant that whatever it was, was about to get serious if it wasn't already.

The close friend in her was a little hurt that he hadn't been upfront. Though after their discussion she could understand why he wasn't very forthcoming with information. Penelope sighed somewhat sadly and left without knocking on his door.

The following day Penelope found herself avoiding Derek at all cost, which was working pretty well as he was trying to be more professional with her as the acting Unit Chief.

Derek's new position kept him busy, and though he made a point of doing Team drinks, he was almost always out the door after the second. Suspicions on possible girlfriends flew around, and Penelope remained tight lipped. It wasn't for her to comment on, nor judge despite the fact that deep down, she knew she had already made a judgement that would prove her biased. Derek had become more private than even Hotch, which for Penelope hurt that little bit more. He treated her merely as one of the team, instead of the friends that they were supposed to be.

"Where's Garcia?" Derek asked as they briefed on their new case.  
"She's on annual leave. It should be on your calendar, she usually has the same couple of days off every year." Hotch answered not offering any more information that necessary. He had long since figured out the reason and he hoped that Derek had not forgotten, knowing that he was the only knew the significance on those couple of days. He had noticed that the rapport between their tech analyst and new acting chief was professional at best. Gone were the endearments that once defined them.

"Oh okay." He managed to utter, his brow furrowed in obvious worry. Derek flicked his calendar open and inwardly groaned. He knew what the couple of days were, he's always known, in all the changes he had forgotten, he didn't connect the dots, and he knew that she would know that he had forgotten. As he tried to keep up with the conversation and scenarios they were running through, he racked his brain for the last time he had spoken to Penelope outside case related issues and hung his head in shame to realise that it had been awhile.

Penelope swung her bag over her shoulder and took one last hopeful glance around the airport, he didn't come. She knew he wouldn't, and it was silly to think he would remember, especially since it had been months since they have had anything to do with each other. She bit back the tears and went to board the plane, alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Penelope felt exhausted. Flights don't normally affect her, but this one always left her drained. She picked up a rental car and drove the familiar route from the airport. As she got closer her heart tightened, a lump formed in her throat and the tears began to well in her eyes. As she turned the corner she took a deep breath, there it was the house she grew up in.

Penelope had barely pulled up when the front door flew open. She grinned as her ten year old nephew Adrian excitedly bounced out of the house.

"Aunt P!!!" he shrieked. Seconds later his little sister Sophia followed. Penelope was met with multiple little arms as she got out of the car.  
"My little monkeys! Aunt P has missed you both! You've grown so much!" she exclaimed gathering them both in her amrs.  
"Hey Lady Bug." Adam her oldest brother greeted affectionately as he came out of the house.

Penelope grinned. Being the youngest and only girl had certainly cemented that she was going to be spoiled from the moment go, and she was. She had four brothers who doted on her despite the fact she was their half sister. Her brothers were relatively older than she was, by the time she was born Adam was already fourteen which made his soft spot for his little sister even bigger. Jasper was twelve, Aidan was ten and Caleb who she was closest to in age was six. While Adam, Jasper and Aidan were her half brothers she and Caleb had the same set of parents. In a lot of ways it made Caleb even more protective of Penelope. Growing up they were so close and in tuned with each other that no words ever needed to be spoken. After their parents had died, he moved Penelope out of her dorm room at Cal-tech and into his apartment where he could keep an eye on her. When she went off the rails it was Caleb that brought her back. With the help of the rest of her brothers she began to come to grips with the loss of the very parents who loved and adored her so unconditionally and immeasurably. It was their love and nurturing that got her through that first year and it has been them that has been sustaining her since.

"Hey Addy," she replied as he enveloped her into his big strong arms holding her close and tight. He reminded her so much of their Dad that it always left a somewhat bittersweet taste in her mouth.  
"We've missed you Kid." He whispered softly in her ear.  
"I've missed you too Ads, so much." She confessed hugging him as tightly as he hugged her. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and imagined that it was her father that was holding her. Adam, quite in tuned with Penelope knew what she needed and held her that little bit longer than usual.

Her brothers understood that though they all felt the loss of their parents, it was most painful for Penelope, which is why she hardly ever came home. They met up for special occasions throughout the year, with all of their siblings scattered all over the country, there were plenty of places to choose from, the one date that all of them agreed to always spend at home was the anniversary of their parents accident and death. It was their one non negotiable. Although in saying that, Penelope went home for important things. The birth of her nieces and nephew, major events, emergencies, she was present for all those.

"You're the first one here. You guys should really co-ordinate car pooling from the airport if you all refuse to be picked up."  
"And what miss out on this very same conversation we have year after year? What's the fun in that Addy?"  
"Brats, the lot of you."  
"But that's what makes us to loveable and endearing."

While Penelope unpacked in what was once her old room and now Sophia's, the kids kept her entertained with their latest mischief talking non stop. Adam and his wife Olive watched in pure amusement as their children monopolized their Aunt P knowing that in a few short hours they would have to share her with their cousins. Penelope was not fazed by any of it. In truth, she loved her nieces and nephews beyond measure and doted on each and every one of them, she cherished being with them, and missed being around them to watch them grow up. Just as Sophia was about to start yet another anecdote Penelope's phone began to vibrate in her bag. She had purposely turned the ringer off so she would miss it but Sophia had heard the buzzing in her Aunt's bag.

"Aunt P, your phone is ringing."  
"That's okay sweetheart. Let it ring out. It's nothing important, now continue on with your story." Penelope assured the young girl. Adam and Olive exchanged a glance, in all the years that Penelope had been working at the BAU, they had never once seen her purposely miss a call.

Derek hung up the phone when it hit her voicemail without leaving a message. He knew that she would know it was him, that she wasn't going to talk to him, and she had every right to be furious with him. He screwed up, and he screwed up big.


	3. Chapter 3

Penelope was sitting on the swing on their front porch wrapped in blanket at four thirty in the morning seemingly lost in her thoughts, her chin resting on her knees as she hugged her legs to her chest. It was good to be home. Despite the bittersweet emotions that lingered within her, she loved being home with her brothers, their wives and children. It was the one place that she could shed the colours she hid from. It was where she truly felt herself, and she loved that. She knew in a few days she would be resuming her somewhat exhausting life of fighting crime. Hiding behind the very façade that she believed kept her safe from getting hurt. She chuckled, knowing that when it came to her team, there was very little facade left, most especially with Derek who had long since slipped into her world as a best friend. She adored him, worshipped him even, and maybe that was the dangerous part. He truly was a super hero from her point of view, and it set unfair and unrealistic expectation that is humanly impossible to maintain.

"Hey Bug," Penelope looked up to see her brother Jasper standing by their doorway, she smiled up at him and patted the space beside her. Jasper obliged and joined her on the swing. He lifted his arm as she scooted into his embrace and snuggled close. Jasper dropped his lips to her head and gave her a brief squeeze. While Adam had always been the one to watch over them, the father figure especially after their parents had passed away, it was Jasper who was fiercely protective of her. Growing up she felt he was a little too over protective, but as she got older and moved away, she realised just how much she appreciated that. When she was scared, she ran to Jasper to keep her safe.

"So what's troubling you in that pretty head of yours munchkin?" he asked affectionately.  
"Not much." She replied with a shrug  
"Try again." Jasper said softly. Penelope sighed,  
"I think I'm in love with Derek." She confessed unwillingly burying her head further into crook of his arm. Jasper repressed a smile,  
"Oh honey, we could have told you that." Penelope looked up and frowned,  
"So not the time for 'I told you' Jas!"  
"Sorry Bug." he apologised with a smile.  
"And when did this revelation surface?"  
"The last few weeks maybe? We haven't really had anything to do with each other lately. He has a girlfriend now and before they got together I may have expressed my disapproval as she is the sister of one of our victims. So I guess that made him not very forthcoming with news of their being together and there's been this elephant in the room since. It's so awkward, we don't talk anymore and it's been uber professional since he got Acting Unit Chief. I don't do well with change Jas." she complained with a groan.

Derek couldn't sleep and gave up trying. He went to his office in hopes to finish off some paperwork. As he sat there unable to do anything but think of Penelope he sighed. He pulled out his Secret Fun Stash that she had made for him and picked up the frame with her picture making a face at him and smiled sadly at what he walked away from. He didn't mean for it to get to where they were. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her about Tamara. Truth was, he hadn't opened that drawer since she first showed him his office. Things moved progressively fast for Derek and Tamara, and he cared about her. He loved that she was independent and vulnerable at the same time. She was beautiful, and she supported his career, and was understanding of his hours, perhaps more in the beginning than recently.

Derek could read Penelope like a book when she allowed it, so he knew that she knew when she came into his office a few days after he and Tamara officially got together and saw that he was absently holding on to the cross as he worked through his file. He caught the look in her eye that spoke volumes. He saw the hurt the quickly flashed through for not being able to confide in her, for keeping her out of his life, when they were supposed to be friends. From that moment on she shut down before his eyes, and the walls had immediately risen. Despite of it all, she kept his secret. Nobody knew but her.

At the end of each case when they would go out for drinks, she kept close to the girls and Reid, who he had noticed had been spending more and more time in the bunker, as Penelope had began to spend less and less time in the bull pen, especially when he was around. When he would bid them goodnight after the second drink to meet up with Tamara, he knew that she knew where he was going. After awhile she began to time it that as he was about to drink the last of his beer, and she would get up from the table to get the next round without bothering to allow him to say his farewell. And so it went for on for weeks and now months. His guilt always stopped him from trying to address and reconcile what he knows he played a part in. Months later they were virtually strangers. He knew nothing of what was going on in her life, and vice versa. Therefore it wasn't such a huge surprise that he had forgotten to link the date to it's significance.

Every year Penelope went home for the anniversary or her parents' accident and death. After the second year he picked up that she was on leave on the same couple of days, and he had followed her to the airport. It was then she had told him the significance, told him about the accident, she told him details she had never said out loud before. As she spoke each word, it broke his heart for what she had lost. It was then that he had jumped on the plane with her so that she did not have to go alone, and had been going with her every year since. Except this year…

Jasper and Penelope sat on the porch swing in silence as they watched the sun rise, without looking at the clock Penelope drew out a deep breath and blinked back the tears. Fourteen years ago to the minute, she had held her mother's hand as she drew her last breath.


	4. Chapter 4

On the anniversary of their parents death, the Garcia clan went to mass in the morning, and then headed to the cemetery to pay their respects before heading home for a Garcia Barbecue Extravaganza in the family home.

After everyone had started to head back to their cars Penelope remained, as she always did. Her brothers knew that she would make her own way back to the house when she was ready. She sat down on the ground and leaned against her parents' headstone. She closed her eyes and sighed in a peaceful contentment. As much as it hurt to be there, it always gave her a sense of peace. As she sat there with her eyes closed she conversed with her parents. She conversed with them daily in her mind, but sitting so close to them made it seem a little more intimate. She confessed her feelings for Derek, agonized over decisions she knew she needed to make. An hour later, she was exhausted. She felt better, but she felt drained. She brought her fingers to her lips and ran her fingers gently through their names before getting up.

As she looked up she saw her brother Caleb leaning against her car waiting for her. Wordlessly she walked into his outstretched arms. Caleb knew that she had been up most of the night, as she always was the night before the anniversary of their parents' death. They had lost their father at three forty five, and their mother had followed at five fifty eight. The five of them were gathered in the room that their parents were in. Penelope was holding each parents hand as they passed, and though she would always be grateful that she was there for that, a part of her will always be haunted by it.

She had been more composed when it was her father. She had kissed his cheek and lay her head on his chest as they came to take him away, his organs were still viable as her mother's wasn't due to the injuries from the accident. They had agreed to donate his organs as both parents wished it.

"Goodbye Daddy, I love you." She whispered tearfully. As they wheeled him away she turned into Aidan's embrace. He held her as she shook in his arms.

When it was their mother's time she was holding her hand, as her head rest beside hers on the pillow. She prayed and willed her mother to open her eyes. For the internal bleeding to stop and that a miracle would bring her back to life, but such miracle never came. When the nurse had come in, she had informed them that it would not be long. Penelope climbed on the bed beside her mother and wrapped an arm around tightly, her forehead resting against the side of her face.

"Mommy, don't leave me. I need you. Please Mommy." She begged, as her brothers did their best to keep their failing composure. Caleb was caressing Penelope's hair as she sobbed bargaining with God the allow them to keep their mother, but at five fifty eight, as Penelope's head lay close to her mother's chest holding her hand, Margaret Isobel Garcia took her last breath, leaving behind her four sons, and daughter.

The howl that left Penelope's soul would haunt them all forever, as she clung to their mother unmoving. In the end Aidan had carefully picked her up from the bed and cradled her on his lap till she stopped sobbing. The five of them said their farewells and reluctantly left the room so that they could take her away. Penelope stood by the door till the nurses came unwilling to leave her mother alone.

It was days before Penelope could manage to string a sentence together, and for the weeks that followed she was like and empty shell. The only person she allowed near her, were her brothers. A part of her was scared to be apart from them in fear that something would happen to them and she would lose them too. While the other part of her kicked into self preservation not wanting to let anyone near her because it hurt too much to lose someone you love.

She convinced her brothers that she was fine to go back to school and they reluctantly let her thinking it may be good for her to be surrounded by her friends, but within a week she dropped out and went underground. It had taken months to find her but they did. They sat her down and fought for her when she was too tired to fight for herself. She moved in with Caleb as she finished up at Cal-Tech.

Slowly, she felt her pieces glue back together. She found it easier to cope not being back in their family home, driving down the road that ended the fate of her parents, and being surrounded by the memories that continue to haunt her. She came home every anniversary without fail, and it had only recently, at the birth of her nieces and nephews that she felt more and more comfortable to come home outside that occasion.

Despite the time and distance, the bond between the Garcia siblings remained strong. Penelope checked in with one brother a day, they always knew where she was, and that she was safe.

The team had finally met her brothers after she was shot by Battle. They had met Derek a couple of years before when he hijacked her trip home. As typical brothers they sussed him out circled him to ensure that he had their baby sister's best interest at heart. It was easy to see that there was a genuine care for their sister, and that Derek loved their sister deeply, though he didn't quite know the extent of that love, or defined it in any way. Penelope who wore her heart on her sleeve, boundary-less when she was home exuded her love and affection for Derek in the little things she did, little things only her brothers would know. It was the very reason as to why they didn't rough him up. She loved him too much.

As it scared her, it frightened them how much she loved Derek, and the hardest part was, she wasn't aware of just how much she cared about Agent Morgan. It was a consensus to allow her to navigate and ride it out on her own, but making sure that they would be there, if it fell apart.

"You ever going to take his call?" Caleb asked as he watched her phone vibrate incessantly on the compartment underneath the stereo.  
"How do you even know who it is?"  
"No one else would be so persistent." He answered. Penelope shrugged.  
"No I don't want to."

"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"Nope, not really. At least not today okay? Today's not about him."  
"Sure Kiddo."  
"Thanks Cae."  
"It's what brothers are for."

Derek hung up the phone in despair, knowing that there was no going back from where they were, and he took responsibility for the part he played in that. Chances are Penelope may never speak to him again, and he understood why she wouldn't. He didn't know quite how to dig himself out of his hole, and as much as he wanted to jump on the plane, they were in the middle of a case, and he needed to be there.

Penelope enjoyed the rest of the day playing with her nieces and nephews. Hanging out with her brothers one on one, and chatting with her sister in laws. It was the happiest she had been in months and she wanted to cherish the moment.

Derek's blackberry began to buzz in his pocket and it took all his control not to react as he read an email from Erin Struss that he was CC'd on. It was an approval for Penelope's request for leave. He noticed that it was an approval for indefinite leave. His heart sank, he knew he was to blame.


	5. Chapter 5

Penelope's hiatus lasted over a week, and Derek knew that she kept in regular contact with the girls. He had walked passed JJ's closed office once or twice while they were having a conversation over the speaker phone. He envied how uncomplicated their friendship was, they teased, laughed and remained as they've always been. Penelope had not taken any of his calls, and he expected that. From what the girls had relayed, she would be back in the office the following Monday.

"You ready to go back?" Adam asked as hugged her goodbye.  
"I have to at some point right? I can't hide from him forever just because I've had the epiphany. I mean it doesn't change anything, he's still in love with some gorgeous leggy woman. My revelation isn't exactly going to change that seeing that I have never flown within his radar."  
"Stupid man," Adam muttered beneath his breath. Penelope smirked at her brother  
"Not at all biased are you Ads?"  
"Not at all." He replied sincerely giving her another squeeze.  
"You need any of us to knock some sense into him, just say the word."  
"Thank you, but I can fight my own battles big brother."  
"I know you can Bug, it doesn't mean your brother's can't try."  
"That is true, and I do appreciate it. I love you, you know that right?"  
"I do Kiddo, and I love you too." Adam said softly resting his chin on her head. After a few more minutes Adam and Penelope reluctantly pulled apart. Both knowing it would be another couple of months till they see each other again,

"I'll be back soon." She promised, and she meant it. This last trip had ignited a longing in her that she'd been afraid to acknowledge all these years, and now she was ready. Her family meant the world to her, and she needed and wanted to spend more time with them.  
"Good. We'd love it, the kids especially."

Penelope arrived back in Virginia Friday afternoon, and she spent the afternoon finishing up the second bedroom that she was painting. Before she went on leave, she had bought and moved into a new house. It was a little further away from the office, but it was by the beach, which was what sold the deal. Caleb and Jasper who lived nearest to her had moved her into her new home and started the painting, while Adam who was a lawyer made sure that she was getting a good deal. Aidan kept sending her things for the apartment and suggestions on where to place it. It was a two storey three bedroom place, that wasn't huge but a good enough size for when her family visited as long as they didn't mind being in each other's faces, which they didn't. Her savings and the settlement from her parent's estate more than covered the cost of her new place and its new paint job. She felt proud of it, because it was hers. At the same time, she loved that her brothers had been a part of the whole experience too.

She had kept it from the team that she was buying a new property and moving into a new place for the reason that she knew they would insist on helping her move in, and a part of her also didn't want Derek to know.

It was a new beginning, and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as she could. She had invited the girls over for a movie night the following evening, not telling them anything except her new address. Emily and JJ assumed that she was house-sitting for a friend, as she had done so once or twice before.

That evening after her shower she wandered from room to room admiring the paint job that she and her brothers had managed to do throughout the whole house. The three of them had a blast painting her new house, sleeping on the wooden floorboards, eating pizza's, telling ghost stories, it was like revisiting their childhood all over again. She stood in front of her favourite place, which was a wall of photos collected throughout the years. Of her parents, their family, her brothers, of her with her brothers, her brothers families, her nieces, nephews and her friends. She had a few photos with the girls, a couple with Reid, Hotch, Dave and even Jack. There was one photo of the team which was taken a fair few years ago at a Christmas party. It was the only photo she could find that she and Derek weren't wrapped around each other, mainly because she had been pulled by Emily to stand beside her and JJ. Though she want to put photos up of her and Derek, it didn't feel right to pretend that their friendship never existed, which is why she compromised with a team photo. The microwave bell broke her trance. She shook the cobwebs from her head to grab the bowl of spaghetti she had cooked earlier that afternoon when she got in. Instead of sitting at the counter or dining table she opted for the stairs on her back porch, which had become one of her favourite hang spots. If she sat on the last step she could bury her feet in the sand, and she loved that.

As she finished up dinner and was merely enjoying the light breeze she could hear her phone ring. After almost ten days of having it on silent, she felt inclined to turn the ringer back on. When she recognised the ring tone she didn't bother to get up. He had been trying to call her since her departure, and she assumed that the pieces of the puzzled had dropped into its place and he realised where she had gone and why, but she wasn't ready to deal with him, at least not yet. Come Monday, she would be resolved.

Derek paced back and forth in front of her apartment wanting to see her, taking a guess that she was back as the girls had mentioned in passing that they were having a girls night the following evening. Out of desperation he went to put his key in the door when he realised that she had changed the locks. In despair and disbelief Derek tried calling her again only to receive her voicemail again as he had been since she left. Derek headed home in clear frustration. Come Monday, he was going to park himself in her office till she spoke with him.

"Nice place Pen, who's house?" Em said as she and JJ walked in.  
"Mine." Penelope replied proudly with a smile.  
"Oh my gosh, it's beautiful Pen. Why didn't you say anything? We would have helped you move? How did you pull this off? Is that why you've been on leave all this time?"  
"Partly yes. My brothers helped me move. They came down to move the little I had in my apartment and we painted the rooms. Aidan's been helping me pick out furniture which should arrive soon.  
"I like the minimalist look." Em teased as she had the one couch in an open plan living room facing the plasma on the wall. Penelope grinned,  
"So do I, but Aidan has other plans."  
"Dinner looks great Pen." Em complimented throwing an arm around her friend's shoulder. Penelope had set up the food on the counter, she had cooked Lasagne, made salad and garlic bread and in the oven brownies were baking. The counter was lit up by tea lights, and she had a vase of flowers at the end that brought it all together.  
"Thanks, I had the day to get it all ready. Before we start, I'll show you the best part. If you're not too cold I thought we could eat outside." With a flourish Penelope opened the back sliding door and showed them the beach.  
"Can we move in?" JJ asked not realising that Penelope's house literally was a stone throw from the beach.  
"Sure there's a couple of extra bedrooms upstairs you might have to fight my brothers for."  
"Oooh, I want to see the upstairs." Penelope chuckled and led her friends up the stairs.

After half an hour of gushing over Penelope's new place, the three of them were sat on her back porch stairs with their plates filled with food. It was early Saturday evening and it was still bright outside allowing them to watch the sun set.

"Pen, permission to bring up the unsaid topic of Morgan, purely as warning" Em treaded carefully,  
"Sure, you lasted longer than I thought you would." Penelope teased shoving Em with her shoulder.  
"Yeah well…"  
"So?"  
"He's not taking it very well that you've shut him out, and his cracks are starting to show."  
"He's a grown man Em, I have no control over his moods or actions. I do not factor that highly into his radar." Penelope replied looking away,  
"Penelope Garcia you know that's not true. You're his best friend." JJ exclaimed astonished.  
"Jayje, I was his best friend. We haven't been friends for months. I am just the tech girl who digs up information for the BAU."  
"Penelope, you have never been just that. To any of us, and certainly not Morgan."  
"Really Em, because I haven't spoken to Morgan since he moved into his office, the man who barks orders at me when calls isn't the Morgan I knew, and he's certainly not my friend." Penelope answered despondently. JJ and Em for the first time saw the anger in Penelope's eyes, something that she had been so careful not to show.  
"Look, it doesn't matter. We are what we are and we are where we are because we're meant to be. We grow up and we grow apart. Derek and I, we just grew apart. Moved on with our lives separately instead of together, and he can't be shocked by that, he chose it. He chose the path we're at."


	6. Chapter 6

Penelope knew that the chances of Derek sitting in her office come Monday morning would be a high one, especially as he had spent a good portion of the last ten days trying to get in touch with her. By Monday, as promised to herself she was resolved. After the girls had left after brunch on Sunday, she took a long walk along the beach to clear her head. She needed to be ready for the conversation they were bound to have, and by Sunday night she was resolved.

True to form, at six in the morning, when she was hoping to at least get a coffee in, he was there sitting on her chair, waiting. The look on her face told him that she wasn't surprised to see him.

"Penelope…"  
"Don't Derek." She said trying to cut him off, but he didn't stop.  
"I'm sorry." Penelope sighed.  
"I didn't mean to forget. It's just with everything,"  
"I really don't want to hear it Derek. I know you feel guilty, but don't. It's not even about that. It's not like we've had very much to do with each other the last six months, or that we're even friends anymore. It's okay. I didn't really think you'd pitch, and I was right." There wasn't a trace of hurt of bitterness in her voice, just resolve, which was worse.  
"Baby Girl," he pleaded. Penelope flinched as he called her Baby Girl, Derek's heart tightened. He had truly lost her, and it was under his own doing.  
"For what it's worth Derek, I know you're sorry, and that you never truly meant to hurt me. I appreciate that, but a lot has changed Derek. We're not who we used to be to each other, and that's not all together bad. We had to be grownups eventually. We couldn't live in each other's pockets forever. Have each other around as a security blanket. You deserve to be happy, and you should be happy. You picked her Derek, and it was the right choice. So I wish you both all the happiness. As for you and me, let's resume what you began, I'm Garcia, your trusted tech analyst. Anything more, blurs what's always been a blurry line, and it's finally clear what our roles are in each other's life." Penelope spoke in an even emotionless tone.  
"I don't want to lose you Pen." Penelope shook her head resigned,  
"You lost me the moment you lied to me. You lost me when you denied our friendship. You lost me when you walked away without so much as backward glance. You lost me a long tine ago. You only noticed it now because recent events. You can't lose something you so willingly walked away from so many months ago. That might sound harsh, but I deserve better than that. Mistakes are made in friendships, and no friendships are perfect, but this one is too big even for me to turn the other way. I am not that forgiving. I love you, and a part of me always will. You were my best friend for over seven years, but whatever was between us, no longer exists. If it did, it would survive this."

Stunned, Derek stared into Penelope's determined eyes and saw the walls that she had built around herself to protect herself from him, and it broke his heart knowing he had broken her heart. He stood to his feet and placed his hands on her shoulders, as she dropped her gaze from meeting his. Cupping her chin with his hand and gently forced his eyes to meet hers,

"Hear me when I tell you that I am sorry, that for the rest of my life, I will regret nothing more than hurting you. You can push me away all you want, but I will always be here if you need me." For a flicker of a moment he could have sworn she dropped her defences and he saw the doubt and distrust in him. He pulled her into his arms, his lips resting on her forehead as she stood there unresponsive before stepping out of his embrace.

Before Derek of Penelope could say another word there was a knock on the door breaking the trance that they were both in.

"Hey Honey, I know you had to come in early today so I thought I would bring you some breakfast." Tamara said holding up a cup of coffee and a bag of goodies. If she had gotten out of the lift a minute before she did, she would have been in for a shock. Derek forced a smile,  
"Thanks Baby." He replied habitually. From the corner of his eye he saw Penelope stiffen. He wished he could have pulled the word back but it was too late.  
"Hi Penelope. Nice office." Tamara said greeting Penelope pleasantly. Never having to bore witness to the Morgan/Garcia exchange, she didn't see the threat of Penelope as others before her did.  
"Thanks Tamara. Derek go and have breakfast, thanks for dropping by. Good to see you again Tamara."  
"You too Penelope," Tamara said as she turned to leave Penelope's bunker. Derek longingly looked back at Penelope hoping to catch a glimpse of his friend, but she was no where to be found.


	7. Chapter 7

Penelope remained the same to everyone else, that if you weren't a part of their team, you wouldn't know the difference in her demeanour, which only appeared when she was addressing Derek directly. Though a part of her felt like it had been amputated, she did her best to make the best of what she had. She kept herself busy and spent time with her friends. She had started visiting her brothers more than before and spending time with her nieces and nephews. Every so often she had her twelve year old niece Maggie stay with her when Jasper and his wife Ellen would be called away to work at the last minute. They had moved to New York shortly before their parent's death anniversary, and Penelope loved having them close by. With Caleb in Boston she had brothers within easy reach and that brought her more comfort than she could have hoped for.

"Are you sure it's okay Penelope?"  
"Hotch, seriously if I have to say yes one more time I will throw something at you." Penelope replied picking up one of her troll dolls from her desk. Hotch laughed.  
"I love having Jack over, we have loads of fun. So once again I say I don't mind taking him for the night. I am happy that you finally got off your tush and giving it a go with Em."  
"You don't think it's bad of me as a father to go on a date the night his son stays with him."  
"Aaron, you've had Jack for weeks, it's not his first night at your place. He's fine. He loves Em, and he's happy for you. Just go out, enjoy yourself. You can call in ONCE to check on us, otherwise, I don't want to hear from you till tomorrow. You got that?"  
"Yes, Ma'am!" he answered with a salute  
"Good boy, now go and leave me at peace so I can finish up here and meet you back at mine in a couple of hours."  
"Thanks again Pen, you're the best." Aaron said placing a kiss on the top of her head before leaving her office. Pen turned back to her computer with an amused shake of the head. With Derek isolating himself with Tamara, the rest of their team continued to strengthen their bond with casual hang outs that was open to all, and Derek rarely attended. Emily had expressed her disappointment that Derek was no longer around, and that she missed him.

With the reaper finally in jail, and his family safe, Hotch was soon reinstated as their Unit Chief, and Derek was more than happy to pass the position back, for the price he paid was a big one. It was easy to isolate himself from the team when there was that boundary. The boundary allowed him to immerse himself into his existence with Tamara and be so consumed by it that he did not realise that he has separated himself from all of them, just as he had done so with Penelope, who funnily enough was the warmest towards him of late.

Emily had long since stopped asking him to hang out when he kept blowing her off for his plans with Tamara and he could see the resentment in her eyes that he had abandoned her too.

"Addy I'm fine, I'm not over exerting myself, I promise." Penelope said trying to assure and placate her eldest bother.  
"What time is your appointment tomorrow?" he asked as she sighed in resignation,  
"Not till the afternoon."  
"Should you really be running around after a five year old beforehand?"  
"Ads, it's exactly what I need. I don't want to think about it."  
"I really wish you would let one of us come with you, at least let Em and or JJ take you."  
"Hey, I'm having enough trouble containing your panic, you want me to spread the hysteria?"  
"I worry Bug."  
"I know you do big brother, which is why I love you as much as I do, but if I felt that it was anything to be panicked about, you will be my first call."  
"I better be Kid."  
"I promise!" Penelope swore to him as she juggled her back pack and hand bag closing up her office. Derek who was on his way back to the bullpen caught most of her conversation and stopped dead in his tracks and hid behind one of the dividers.  
"Good, and you'll call me right after?"  
"Yes, I will call you right after, you and the rest of the Goon squad."  
"You drive a hard bargain."  
"But you love me in spite of it."  
"That I do Lady Bug, and don't you forget it."  
"I love you too Addy. Give Olive and the monkeys my love. Depending on how it all goes, I will try and head on out to yours in a couple of weeks okay."  
"Done deal, talk to you tomorrow."  
"Not like you'd let me get away with not…" Penelope muttered after her brother had already hung up. Derek's concerns were at its peak, was something wrong? Was she sick? Knowing she would never speak to him about it, he had decided to take matters into his own hands.

Penelope went home and set up one of the rooms for Jack to sleep in that night. She had picked out a few DVD's for them to watch that night. She had also taken the board games out of her cupboard. By the time Hotch, Em and Jack arrived they were all set to go for their night of fun.

"Aunt P!!!" Little Jack Hotchner shrieked with excitement as she opened the door.  
"Hey little man, you've grown!" she exclaimed on impact as he threw his arms around her waist,  
"You always say that."  
"Well you keep growing on me. Did you bring your swimmers for tomorrow morning?"  
"Yep, Emmy made sure I did."  
"Good girl. Guess what I have for us tonight?"  
"What?" he asked excitedly,  
"S'mores!"  
"Aww, can we stay for S'mores?" Emily asked with a small pout enlisting a laugh from both Hotchner's  
"No, you'll have to wait till the next girl's sleepover."

Derek watched from his car as Penelope and Jack sat side by side in front of their mini camp fire, he could see that she was cooking hot dogs for their dinner, and by the looks of it, there were S'mores in their future. Derek watched a Jack laughed happily as he and Penelope talked. It was obvious that Penelope had won the heart of one Jack Hotchner.

Derek contemplated his next move. It wasn't the first time he had driven past her new house, he had admittedly done it more often that he'd care to admit, but he'd never stopped let along gotten out of the car. It didn't seem as though he had a right to just drop by anymore. His concern winning over his fragile ego he bit the bullet and got out of the car.

Penelope had looked up to see Derek was walking towards them. Surprised, she tilted her head to the side questioningly. They were far from friends, but she had long since stopped avoiding him at all cost.

"I was in the neighbourhood and thought I'd drop by. Hey Little Man, sorry I crashed your party."  
"It's okay Agent Morgan. We have plenty of hot dogs and S'mores. You can come and join us." Penelope chuckled not quite sure how she felt about being sold out by Jack.  
"Is that okay P?"  
"Sure Morgan. Pull up a log, and I'll grab you a stick." Penelope said getting up to go inside for his stick and regain her composure, not knowing what he was doing at her house. She knew that he had found out that she had moved from the others, but she certainly has never extended the invitation to him. The months that passed had thawed her anger, and though she was still highly guarded, she was a lot more gracious than she was before. When she returned she found that Jack was wrestling with Morgan.  
"Take it easy on Agent Morgan Jackers, people his age don't recover from injuries as quickly as you."  
"Nice P!" Derek said with a laugh appreciating the moment of teasing they haven't had for almost a year.  
"If the geriatric shoes fit Morgan." She retorted as she handed him a stick for his hot dog. Jack laughed and scrambled out of Derek's grasp and crawled into Penelope's lap.  
"You done eating Jack?"  
"Yes thank you Aunt P."  
"You ready for S'mores."  
"Am I ever?" Jack replied enthusiastically. Penelope tickled his stomach before reach over for the S'mores supply. Three S'mores later, little Jack Hotchner let out a yawn.  
"Hey why don't we get your teeth brushed and have you in your Jammies, so that when we watch your movies you'll be comfortable?" Jack hesitated for a moment before reluctantly nodding  
"Will you help tuck me in?" he said turning to Derek.  
"Sure Kid as long as it's okay with your Aunt P."  
"Sure, why not…"


	8. Chapter 8

Jack snuggled against Penelope as they watched his favourite movie, which currently was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which was introduced to him by Emily, JJ and Penelope when they offered to baby sit him one night when Hayley and Aaron had to discuss custody arrangements. Ever since then he has been watching it non stop. It amused the girls to no end that they have heard Hotch hum 'Pure Imagination' on more than one occasion. Jack was fast asleep before the Oompah Loompah's had the opportunity to appear. Penelope considered leaving him with her to avoid having to be left alone with Derek, whom at that point she was still curious as to why he was still there.

"I better get him to bed. Are you okay to let yourself out?" She asked, though he knew it really wasn't a question but a suggestion,  
"Why don't I give you a hand, he looks like he's grown." Derek said getting up and scooping Jack Hotchner easily into his arms not giving her a chance to protest.  
"Upstairs?"  
"Err yeah, thanks." With a sigh she picked up Jack's bear and led the way to the guestroom she had set up for him. Derek saw the pictures that were lined up along the stair case, mostly of her nieces and nephews, a couple of Jack too.  
"Your work P?" he asked impressed at the quality of the Black and White shots on the walls.  
"Yeah, I've been playing around a lot with my camera, and they've awesome willing models for me."  
"They're great P."  
"Thanks." She replied somewhat self consciously.

Derek carefully placed Jack on the bed while Penelope brought the covers up to his chin tucking him with his bear.

"He's pretty cute huh?"  
"That he is. I'm so glad Aaron's got him back. I don't know how much longer he could have kept going the way he was." Penelope answered softly.  
"I'm so glad that bastard is in jail once and for all."  
"Yeah he is where he can no longer ruin other people's lives. More than he already has."  
"P…"  
"I know Derek. I know what part he played in your life. I do. More than you know." Penelope said in acknowledgement. Derek nodded and followed her out of the room and back down the stairs.  
"So what really brings you by Derek?" she asked not beating around the bush.  
"I miss you P."  
"It's a little late for that don't you think?" Penelope replied without a trace of anger in her voice but resolve.  
"I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to fix us?"  
"Did you think for a moment that we're not meant to be fixed Derek? I mean really, where were we to go? All that flirting, so called harmless innuendo, in the end wasn't so harmless, because you know I started to believe in it a little too much. That I had convinced myself that maybe just maybe somewhere deep down you may feel for me what I was starting to feel for you. But we both know that you didn't. I think that night proved it all." Derek hung his head knowing what night she was talking about.

It was right after they had returned from Louisville, everyone was not prepared for how Hotch was returning to work after Hayley and Jack were placed on Witness protection program, as hard as Penelope tried not to feel bad about being yelled at by Hotch, a part of her was devastated that she had disappointed him. Derek knew this and had dropped by with Ice Cream that evening to make her feel better. As they sat on the couch Derek draped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Penelope had placed her head on the crook of his neck snuggling close to him. Derek was stroking her hair absently as they talked. He was mad at Hotch, for how he spoke to her, and for who he was becoming. He resented that Hotch who was usually so composed was beginning to fray at the seams. He looked to Hotch for strength, and as unreasonable as it seemed, it rocked him to see that Hotch was no longer in control. Derek had looked down at her and in a moment of weakness he had brought his lips to hers, wanting nothing more than to be comforted as only she could comfort him. Stunned, it took Penelope a moment or two to catch up. After a few minutes, breathlessly they pulled apart.

"Ugh, I'm sorry P."  
"Uh sure, it's okay. No harm no foul right?" she answered trying to regain her composure, reigning in her hormones.

From that moment on, they had been trying to keep it together and resume as they once were, which worked for awhile, till Tamara Barnes entered their lives. It tore Penelope to the core to see how attracted he was to her, and despite her warning to him which was for the most part from a friend's perspective, he still went on ahead, full speed, without a care.

***************

**There you go…I wanted to explain why she was so angry… so hope you like the twist! Thank you so much for all of your AMAZING reviews. You motivate me! **


	9. Chapter 9

They had never brought that night up since it happened. Penelope's blanket 'no harm no foul' allowed them to do that, and potentially they could have gotten away with it if a third party didn't pose as a threat or as a reminder of what they so willingly brushed aside.

"About that night P. I am so sorry."  
"I know you are Derek, if there was one thing that was incredibly obvious is that you were sorry." Penelope answered as she dropped her gaze unwilling for him to see the hurt that she didn't catch in time to stop from seeping through.  
"P..." he protested realizing how she had interpreted what he had said.  
"Derek please. It's a little late for platitudes. What do we have to achieve by rehashing all this. Truly, what is there to gain by picking at it? It was a moment of stupidity and weakness, and maybe that's what we needed to see our friendship for what it truly is. Outside the flirting and innuendos lies nothing obviously, because take that away, we have what we have."  
"That's not true P. Deep down you know that. You're my best friend P."  
"Really? Because as your best friend I would assume that I would be the first you would have told about Tamara, and if not at least I would have thought as your best friend you owed it to our friendship to tell me yourself that you were finally together."  
"I just couldn't P."  
"Then that in itself speaks volumes Derek. There's no fixing this because it's not meant to be fixed. There are some things that aren't meant to last. We had a great run and I will forever be grateful for the part you played in my life for those seven years, but let's not force something that's not meant to be. Our history guarantees that I will never turn away from you, if you need me, truly need me I'll be there. But resuming what once was would be unhealthy and wrong, especially now that you have Tamara. You can't have it all Derek. I just don't want to be Garcia from the Morgan and Garcia dynamic duo. It's hit a point where it hurts, and friendships aren't meant to hurt like that."  
"I'm sorry I hurt you P."  
"I know that Derek. I know it's killing you to know that but I'm not trying to make you feel guilty here. I'm just telling you where I am right now and it's important that you know why I need to walk away from you, why I have needed and need space from you. I don't hate you Derek, truth is I love you and right now that hurts because I know that no matter how much you love me, it will never be the way I want you to. It will never be enough."  
"How do you know?" Derek challenged. Penelope jerked her head up to meet his gaze,  
"Don't play that card Derek." Penelope warned,  
"But if it's the card I want to play."  
"For all the wrong reasons," she said in frustration.  
"P…"  
"No Derek, you took it back. You apologized. You met a girl and fell in love with her. Clearly whatever card you have to play right now isn't big enough to trump the fact that despite my warning, you chose to jump into a relationship with the sister of one of our victims. You walked into that relationship knowingly, with everything that's happened between us. You still chose her. So don't stand here trying to tell me that you feel what I felt because you don't. You never understood it, how could you claim to feel it."  
"Don't use the one card that you think guarantees you not losing me, because I will tell you now that it is the one card that will guarantee you will."

**I promise I will resolve this… be patient! I'm just letting my angst play out.**


	10. Chapter 10

Penelope woke up the next morning with a groan, as the scenes from the night before played in her head against her will. Derek had gone home exhausted from their moment of truth. She had literally crawled into her bed and collapsed from the emotional overload. She looked at the time, it was still early and Jack still had an hour or so before he would wake up. She savoured the moment of peace as she sorted through the thoughts in her head. She got out of bed and had a quick shower before getting breakfast ready for Jack. As she got dressed she could hear stirring downstairs and thought Jack must have gotten up earlier than she anticipated. She stopped at the foot of the stairs when she heard cupboards being opened and closed.

"How did you? You know what, I don't want to know. What are you doing here?" she asked extremely baffled. Derek looked up from the waffle batter he was beating and smiled somewhat sheepishly,  
"I know you and I just can't pick up where we left of. That too much has happened and I have hurt you too much to think you could just forgive me like that. All the I'm sorry's and attempt to explain myself isn't going to work because my actions and lack thereof have spoken volumes this last year, so I've decided to heck with the words, I am just going to start with actions."  
"Derek,"  
"No P, I want you back in my life. I want to be a part of your life. If this year has taught me anything it's that I don't function well when you're not in my life. You're my best friend P, and yes I have been a jack ass who has been acting quite the opposite, but it ends here. If it means hanging out here and forcing my company on you, so be it. Unless you tell me that you don't want to have anything to do with me, I am staying put. I am making you and Jack breakfast and we are going to hang out all day,"  
"Do I get a say in this?" she asked in obvious disbelief.  
"If you really want me to go I will. I miss you P. I miss my friend. I want my friend to know that I acknowledge how big of a jack ass I've been and I want her to know that I'm sorry." Penelope hesitated and let out a huge sigh,  
"Fine, stay. Cook breakfast. I'll go see if Jack is up."  
"Thank you P."  
"It's not going to be easy Morgan. I am going to fight you every chance I get. I am going to be as unreasonable as they come, simply because I'm still angry at you. You hurt me, and no one's ever hurt me as much as you did, and I can't just get passed that because you've finally figured out you're sorry. Sorry isn't enough."  
"Baby steps P. All I ask is you give me a chance. I know I have hurt you in such a way that you will probably never believe anything I say, but I'd rather have you yell at me every day of our lives than not have you around at all."  
"Okay," Penelope replied with a nod in resignation.

"Hey Pen, we're here to pick up Jack." Hotch called out from the front door as he let himself in, Emily following close behind. Penelope looked up from the game of Yahtzee she was in with Jack and Derek. She pretended to ignore the look of surprise on his face upon finding Derek there, and the look of confusion in Emily's.  
"Daddy, Emmy!" Jack greeted enthusiastically as he ran up to them. Emily caught Jack in her arms and lifted him from the floor.  
"Hey Buddy, we missed you. Did you have fun with Aunt P?" she asked. Penelope couldn't help but smile at the sight of her friend being so comfortable with their boss' five year old son.  
"Uh huh, last night Derek made me an extra S'more when Aunt P wasn't looking"  
"Busted." Derek muttered,  
"In more ways than one it seems." Hotch replied with a smirk. Emily and Penelope locked eyes for a moment. Derek watched as Penelope gave Emily a casual nod that was returned somewhat hesitantly. He knew without a doubt that the moment he left, Emily would be calling demanding to know what was going on. After a somewhat awkward goodbye, Penelope and Derek were left alone. It wasn't lost on Derek that Hotch had thrown a protective arm around Penelope as she walked them out the door. He saw Hotch drop his lips to Penelope's head as he whispered something that made her smile and nod. He realised how much has changed, and so many dynamics had evolved and he missed it all. As she closed the door, she gave her watch a quick glance,

"Hey Morgan, I don't mean to throw you out but I have somewhere to be."  
"Ugh sure, everything okay?" he asked as she nervously fidgeted with her watch,  
"Yeah, thanks for coming by. I'll see you Monday." She answered not at all convincing.  
"Ok, call if you need anything okay?"  
"Sure, thanks." Derek gave her the once over and let it go. He gave her cheek a quick peck before allowing her to walk him out to the door.

"Addy, I just got here." Penelope answered her phone that started ringing somewhat incessantly as she stepped out of her car.  
"I know, I just wanted to give you a call to let you know that we're all thinking about you."  
"Thank you Addy. I appreciate that." She was standing outside the clinic talking to her brother when she saw Derek get out of his SUV.  
"Err Addy, I have to go. I'll call you as soon as I'm done, I promise."  
"What are you doing here?" she asked as Derek approached.  
"Being here for my friend seeing as she's too stubborn to ask anyone for help,"  
"How did you?"  
"You're not the only one who's all knowing…" Penelope opened her mouth only to shut it again knowing there was no sending him home.


	11. Chapter 11

Derek stood respectfully a few feet away while Penelope made her presence known to the receptionist smiling genuinely at his friend. He watched as Penelope spoke so softly that it was inaudible. He watched the receptionists face closely, looking for any clue that it may give him of what was going on. Penelope refused to meet his gaze and sat on the nearest chair. Derek sat beside her somewhat nervously.

"P…"  
"Derek, I don't want to do this right now."  
"Okay, fair play…but I'm not going anywhere. Whether you tell me or not, I am staying right here." He said unwavering. Penelope sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before turning to meet his eye, hating that they were about to have that conversation in her doctor's office.  
"I haven't feeling a hundred percent lately, and at first I just thought it was because we were so busy at work that I was stressed out, tired whatever, so I brushed it off. I'd been getting these random back pains on and off, and I wrote it off as long hours in front of my babies, and invested in a new chair, which worked for awhile so I let it go. When I went home for the anniversary the pain had become so unbearable that I passed out and ended up in hospital."  
"Your indefinite leave…" Derek pieced together as she nodded,  
"Anyways, the boys weren't going to let me go home until I was completely checked out and given a clean bill of health. Clean bill of health, never came. They found a tumor in my pancreas, a small one, but a tumor none the less. Luckily for me, where it was positioned, it could be operated on. So I went in and out, no fuss. Much to my brother's dismay and protests I came back here. They begged, brow beat, threatened and blackmailed, but I wanted to come back here. I didn't want to fall apart there. In the end, they could never really say no to me, and I unashamedly used that to my advantage. I started seeing Dr. Walker at the recommendation of the Doctor at the hospital so I've been seeing her since. I did a round of chemo after I got back."  
"How did I not know this?"  
"Because I didn't want you to know. I didn't want any of you to know. I'm a great liar when I want to be Derek." She said trying to ease the panic that was about to over take him. She was being gracious and they both knew it. There was a time in their friendship where she would not have been able to hide that from him.  
"But you were at work?"  
"Dr Walker hooked me up to this portable thing. I had it on while I was at work, I just made sure it wasn't visible and that I was bound to my bunker the whole time. The actual experience wasn't so bad, it was more the after effects,"  
"The weight loss, the paleness," he provided, as she nodded. The look of despair and guilt that flooded through his eyes made her heart ache for him. This is why she didn't want to tell him, or any of them.  
"And now?"  
"I'm here for my check up. To make sure that nothing's come back. They were able to remove everything in the operation, the chemo was to make sure that whatever that couldn't be detected will be combated before they surfaced. I'm fine Derek." Penelope said trying to reassure him,  
"Shouldn't I be offering you the reassurances P?" he asked making her smile.  
"I just hate that you were alone, that I wasn't there for you."  
"I wasn't alone Derek. My brothers were there. Beginning to end, they were the last faces I saw before I went into my operation and the first ones I saw when I came to. On my first chemo Jasper came down the week and then Cae came down for the second week. Aidan took a week off work and flew down for my third week, and Ads was here for the last week of chemo. They would all be here right now if I didn't threaten to put their photos up on America's Most Wanted. I have never been without support Derek. My brother's were there. I just didn't want this to be a huge deal. With everything that was going on, I didn't want it to be…"  
"A guilt thing…" he finished  
"Yeah. There were enough issues flying around, and I didn't want to add this to the equation."  
"I'm sorry P."  
"Derek, you're not to blame for my sickness. You're not responsible for my health."  
"I know P, I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. For just disappearing from your life."  
"It's okay Derek. It truly is. I'm a firm believer in the whole everything happens for a reason, and that seasons exists in our lives. You just weren't meant to be a part of my life during that time and that's okay."  
"I let you down P. You're my best friend and I wasn't there for you. I wasn't even there for consideration for you." Penelope couldn't help but feel sorry for him.  
"You're here now. I may not like it, but you're here now."  
"And I am here P. I'm all in."  
"Baby steps Derek. Every fiber of my being is screaming that you're here, but there's this tiny little part of me that's holding on to the fact that we were best friends once that is relieved and comforted that despite everything you're sitting here." Derek bravely draped an arm around her shoulder. Penelope stiffened for a moment but eventually relaxed allowing him to pull her closer to him. Derek placed his lips on her temple,  
"I'm never going anywhere again." He promised  
"Derek no, I don't want to start rebuilding this friendship on the wrong foot. You can't be there all the time, you can't promise that even though I know you want to and have every intention to. If we're going to be friends, let's start it without so much expectations, we'll more than likely fail each other if we do. I promise to give this a go, but I need you to allow me to take it on my pace."  
"Okay P."  
"Ms Garcia," Dr Walker called out from her office. Penelope stood to her feet and Derek jumped to his to follow not letting go of the hand he managed to take into his own. Penelope looked at him and he shook his head no, that him going in with her was a non negotiable. She sighed and walked towards Dr Walker's office with Derek in tow.

"Hey P, do you want me to get that?" he asked as her phone buzzed again. It had been buzzing since they left the Doctor's office an hour before and she had been avoiding answering every single time. Without a word he had taken her keys from her as they walked out of the Doctor's office and she didn't protest. There was no point to.  
"They're going to start to panic P and you'll have Cae or Jasper here in a couple of hours if you don't throw them a bone." He said knowingly.  
"I can talk to them." Penelope considered it for a moment, could she really engage in that conversation with one of her brothers right then and there, and the answer was no. She knew that Derek was right, if she didn't answer them one of them would end up at her door step. She took her silence as an answer and took the phone that was in her hand,  
"Hi Adam, it's me Derek."  
"And what are you doing answering my sister's phone?" Adam practically bellowed that Penelope could hear his voice boom from her receiver. She cringed, maybe having Derek field her calls wasn't such a good idea.  
"Hey Man, I know you want to kill me right now and you have every right to and you will get the opportunity but Pen's not up to taking calls so I offered to answer them," Derek tried to explain. Adam took a deep breath and silence overtook the conversation,  
"Does that mean?"  
"Yeah Man," Derek answered softly,  
"She okay?" Adam asked as his voice cracked a little,  
"Processing, listen I know you want to jump on the plane right now and if I were you and this was my sister I would too. But there's no rush, she's not alone, and she won't be I promise you. I'll be here till you get here. She'll call you when she's had a couple of hours and she'll fill you in, you can work out flight details then."  
"Thank you. But I still want to kick you ass."  
"I would too. Would you mind letting the rest of your brother's know?"  
"No, I'll do that now."  
"Thanks."

Penelope could hear the conversation between Derek and her brother despite his lowered voice. She had to admit that she appreciated that he was fielding her calls and allowing her the moment she needed to sort it all out in her head.

"I'm sorry Penelope, we've found another tumor. You'll need another surgery and we'll need to do aggressive Chemotheraphy after the surgery." Derek watched as fear filled her eyes. She dropped her gaze to her hands as they shook unwillingly.  
"Again?" she barely breathed out as Dr Walker nodded empathetically.  
"What are my other options?"

Derek watched as Penelope walked outside to her porch and sat on the steps to face the beach. He could see the thoughts flying through her mind, he watched as she closed her eyes hoping to slow them down. He let her be and began scouring through her fridge looking for ingredients to pull dinner together. He had pulled himself together so that he could be there for her. He didn't allow himself to fall apart as much as he wanted to because he knew that he needed to be strong for her.

Penelope almost jumped when Derek wrapped a blanket around her as he sat down beside her handing her a cup of hot chocolate.

"Thank you." She said gratefully. She appreciated the time he had given her to collect her thoughts, for fielding her calls and keeping her brothers informed without bringing panic to them, he was her Derek all over again and she wasn't prepared for how much that familiarity hurt her as much as it comforted her. Derek simply pulled her into his arms. She turned her head into his chest and buried her face into his shirt as he held her so tightly she could barely breathe.


	12. Chapter 12

Despite Penelope's protest and assurance that she was fine, Derek did not budge. He gave her the space she needed to process but his presence was unquestionable. As she shook her head looking into his eyes, he knew it was futile.

"I have to call my brothers." Penelope murmured in quiet resignation, unable to put it off much longer knowing that they would be panicking right then and there. Derek handed her the phone without a word and gave her shoulder a brief squeeze before letting himself out the side door to give her the privacy to talk to her brothers. As much as he didn't want to leave her side, he needed a moment to himself. He sat himself on the steps of her porch and removed his shoes and socks burying his feet on the sand. He kept an ear out for Penelope at the same time allowing himself to process the news that had hit him in the gut.

"I'm sorry Penelope, we've found another tumor," rang incessantly in his ears. Whatever guilt he felt paled in comparison to what he began to feel at that point. He hadn't been there for her for over a year. She had battled the hardest year of her life, and he had been no where in sight, and what was worse, he had willingly allowed her to walk away from him, if not pushed her away.

He acknowledged that it was a new day, and there was little room for the regret that could potentially cripple him, so he swallowed it and made a plan in his head. He made lists of things to do to make things easier for her. He had appointed himself her primary caregiver if she would have him, and even if she didn't, he would insist upon it. She was his best friend, and the year aside that's all that mattered.

"Hey Addy,"  
"Bug…"  
"Round two." She said softly.  
"We'll beat it Bug." Adam said so confidently that she couldn't help but believe in it.  
"I know…"

"Do you Bug? You don't sound like you do."  
"I'm just scared." Penelope admittedly quietly  
"Don't be, it's already in the bag."  
"It is huh?"  
"Yup! So tell me, where do we stand with the boy?" Penelope chuckled.  
"He's standing his ground and won't take no for an answer."  
"Good, we may just bruise him up a bit instead of killing him."  
"Get in line." She replied earning a hearty laugh from her brother.  
"Permission to jump on the plane?"  
"Not yet, let me sort out what I'm going to do and then you and the boys can fight over shifts seeing as I know you won't take no for an answer."  
"You got that right."  
"I love you Addy."  
"I love you too Bug."  
"I better call the others. Talk to you later?"  
"You bet!"

After Penelope had finished talking to the rest of her brothers she joined Derek on her back porch who was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear her approach.

"Do you not have a girlfriend who would be looking for you right now?" She asked gently, not wanting to seem as though she was throwing him out.  
"This is where I'm supposed to be. This is where I'm staying." Derek replied softly but adamantly.  
"Derek, I'm going to have to tell the others. This surgery, it isn't going to be as straight forward as the last one. I'm going to be out of action for awhile."  
"We can do that. I can call them, and we can tell them together P." he assured her taking her hand and enclosing it with his.  
"Derek, with me having to be out of action, I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to head home for awhile. Addy offered,"  
"What do you want to do P?"  
"I want to not be going through this again. I want to do this gracefully and without inconveniencing anyone."  
"No can do sweetheart. If you want to move in with one of your brothers because you want to be with your family, that's one thing. But if you're thinking for one moment, that you are going through this on your own, in any capacity, you are sorely mistaken. I will be here. I will take care of you. We will fight this together."  
"Because I have cancer." She added quietly turning her gaze away from him. Derek shifted himself and crouched before her forcing her to look at him,  
"Because you're my best friend, because I love you, because if the shoe was on the other foot you would demand nothing less than being in the frontline of that battle, so please, let me be on the frontline of yours."  
"But you have…"  
"No buts Penelope, you are my priority." Derek answered sternly but lovingly as he tucked a loose strand of curl behind her ear.

It was still early, and while Penelope had the confidence, Derek suggested he call the team and get them to come over, so that she can share her news. Penelope had asked for Hotch to come earlier than others so that she could talk to him one on one. Hesitantly Hotch knocked on the door ten minutes after Derek's call hearing the panic in his voice. The look on Derek's face did not assure him. Derek pointed out to the porch for where Penelope sat. With a nod Hotch went out to join her.

"Penelope,"  
"Hey Hotch," she said looking up at him as he sat down beside her.  
"It's back." She murmured.

Instinctively Hotch draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. It wasn't completely true that none of them knew, Hotch did. She was almost unconscious when he found her. She was burning up with a fever and barely coherent. Immediately he took her to the hospital. He watched in horror as they hooked her up to several machines, when the doctor had briefed him on her condition his heart dropped to his feet. She had begged him not to tell the others, especially Derek. She was insistent on handling it with the least possible casualties and at the time, the prognosis were good so he agreed. Ever since then he had stepped up. He had become the brother in Virginia that she needed. He posed as her token best friend in the absence of her old one. Whenever she had a dose of chemo he would find his way to her office and sit there with paperwork, on the couch as she carried on about her day tackling through her work. His presence made all the difference and Penelope appreciated him for that.

"It's in the bag Pen. We'll beat this."  
"You sound like Addy."  
"Yeah well, what can I say, when we believe in something we're passionate." Penelope rolled her eyes. Hotch was like Adam in so many ways. Protective, quiet and determined.  
"Thanks. I appreciate that."  
"So…"  
"Yeah, he now knows and is currently tearing himself up inside with guilt."  
"Good, he should!" Hotch said as she chuckled smiling up at him,  
"Brothers, I swear."  
"You better believe it." He muttered dropping a kiss on her temple.

Derek watched them from the inside. He could see that she was completely at ease, and how her relationship with Hotch had evolved into something he never imagined it would, yet here he was witnessing it. A few minutes later Emily, JJ, Reid, and Rossi arrived. All with a questioning look on their faces as he summoned them in. Derek knock on the side door as if to announce that the rest of them had arrived. Hotch walked in with Penelope close at his side,

"Thanks for coming everyone. I guess you're all wondering why Derek's called you here. I have some news, and it's time come clean, I have cancer." Penelope said as her eyes took in every single one of them. Emily and JJ gasped and rushed over to her throwing their arms around her in a bone crushing embrace.  
"It's okay you guys, I'll be okay. I'll just be out of action for awhile. I have to have surgery and then a couple of rounds of Chemo to get rid of the tumor once and for all. It's not biggie, I swear." She assured them somewhat bravely.

The seven of them did not part company until the next morning, as though they were afraid to leave Penelope's side. She had been the one thing that anchored them individually and as a whole and the thought of losing her, was unimaginable. They had stayed up most of the night playing board games, to keep each other's minds traveling to the one place they knew they didn't have the liberty to travel. They needed to be there for her, as she had so unconditionally had been there for her in every stage of their lives that she was present for. The three girls crawled into Penelope's bed at five in the morning, as the boys took the room with the two bunk beds that she had set up for her nieces and nephews when she had more than one visiting.

"So Derek…" Emily began,  
"Is apparently here to stay." Penelope answered.  
"That's a good thing right?" JJ asked,  
"It is and it isn't. I'm trying to separate the two. Our reconciliation and my being sick, he assures me that one has nothing to do with the other. Which I sort of know it doesn't as we had this talk before he found out, but at the same time, a part of me doesn't quite trust him yet."  
"And that's okay Pen, you take all the time to you need, and you guys will get there."  
"Hmmm, I hope so." She replied thoughtfully biting her lower lip.


	13. Chapter 13

After a lot of battling, Penelope convinced her brothers that they did not all have to fly down for the operation. Instead they had set up a plan similar to the last one where one brother would spend a week with her through the course of the chemo. The Team had jumped on board. They had all taken personal leave for the week of Penelope's operation so that they could all be there for her, despite her protests she knew that there was no convincing them otherwise, least of all Derek who had barely gone home to pick up clothes. No one spoke of Tamara, though they had all wondered how she was taking Derek's sudden refusal to leave Penelope's side. A blind man could see the depth of love that existed between Derek and Penelope, everyone spotted it a mile, all were aware with the exception of the parties involved. It was a favourite pass time for Hotch and Rossi to exchange a look as they involuntarily profiled their friends.

Penelope was admitted into hospital the night before her surgery. When the boys arrived with dinner early that evening after making a brief appearance at work they found the three girls on Penelope's bed squished against each other comfortably watching Dirty Dancing on Penelope's laptop.

"Ladies, I thought we had long since paid our tribute to the great Patrick Swayze?" Derek teased. The girls merely ignored him as their whole attention was on the last scene of the movie. Hotch was thankful that they didn't come any sooner, there was only so many times a man can be asked to endure Dirty Dancing, and he had long since exceeded this quota as he knew Derek and Reid had too. Rossi had been luck enough to dodge the bullet a few times which always left the rest of them envious. When the credits began rolling the credits the girls then turned their attention back to the boys.  
"Ooh what's for dinner?" Penelope asked excitedly knowing the chances of her being able to keep anything down after the surgery and chemo was slim to none.  
"Your favorite of course." Hotch said with a flourish taking the Chinese Take Away containers out of the brown bag.  
"Aaron Hotchner you spoil me." She stated with a grin looking up at him adoringly.  
"I try Penelope."

They were literally thrown out of Penelope's hospital room when it hit midnight mainly from the noise that was coming out of her room keeping the rest of the patients up. Derek had won the toss to stay with her that night while the rest of them reluctantly went home. After they had vacated her room, Derek had turned the lights off and got himself settled on the cot that the nurse had set up for him.

"Derek…" she said quietly into the night,  
"Yeah P."  
"Thanks for being here, no matter how hard I protested."  
"It's what friends are for P. If I were on the same boat, I don't see you taking no for an answer."  
"True. There's so many things I wanted to say to you, to talk to you about, and now, it doesn't seem to matter. Strange what perspective does huh?"  
"I know what you mean."  
"Friend to Friend?"  
"Sure, what's up?"  
"What happened to Tamara? I mean she can't be all that thrilled to never seeing you and forever at my side."  
"Truth?"  
"Yep,"  
"We broke up a little while ago. We've been on and off for months, and it just never really worked. You were right P."  
"I'm sorry Derek. I didn't necessarily want to be right, I want you to be happy. And yes, a part of me was jealous that you picked her, and it hurt that you disregarded what I said, but at the end of the day, you're my friend and what makes you happy would be enough. Please don't apologise again." She added at the end, making him chuckle.  
"I've really missed you P."  
"I've missed you too Morgan,"  
"I felt like I screwed up so badly P that I just didn't know how to fix it. It seemed easier to just bury my head. When things started being so hard between Tamara and I, it made me more determined to make it work because it felt like I had given up so much for it. Does that make sense?"  
"It does funny enough. For what it's worth Derek, I knew you didn't intentionally want to hurt me. At the end of the day, what's done is done, and we can only move right?"  
"Can we move on from this P?"  
"Ask me that question a month ago and I would have said no, but with everything that has happened, life is too short. It's given me a 'no regrets' lease on life." Derek covered her hand with his and gave it a meaningful squeeze.  
"Are you scared?" he asked.  
"A little, not as much as I was to begin with. I think I would be more scared if we were where we were a few months ago. I don't think I would have coped very well knowing we had unfinished business. If things were to not work out, I have no regrets, no unfinished business. I just wouldn't want to go having something like our friendship unresolved. I would hate to leave knowing you would crucify yourself with could have beens, so hear me when I tell you Derek that it's okay. We're okay." Derek felt the tears threatening to fall in the corner of his eyes, she was absolving him, of all the things she should have been more worried about, she wanted to make sure that he had no regrets. Sensing that Derek was overwhelmed she figured it was her turn to give his hand a firm squeeze.  
"Goodnight Hot Stuff."  
"Goodnight Baby Girl." He answered all choked up knowing she threw in the sentiment as if to solidify what she had just said. Penelope closed her eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep. It did not escape her that Derek was still holding her hand in his.


	14. Chapter 14

The following morning the team arrived early to see her off. She had forced Derek to get freshened up and pick up breakfast with everyone leaving Hotch to keep her company.

"You absolved him didn't you?" Hotch said almost accusingly with a smile on his face. Penelope grinned,  
"It didn't feel right holding all that in, especially if…"  
"Penelope no," Hotch interrupted not wanting her to finish that thought let along sentence.  
"I'm just covering all my bases Aaron. I'm not jinxing myself or going all negative. I just want don't want that in my conscience, well more his. He would crucify himself for the rest of his life and it would haunt me for all eternity. Truth of the matter of is, on the scale of everything that's going on, it truly no longer matters." She explained placing her hand over his sensing the panic that had crept through his somewhat controlled demeanor.

"How are you holding up?" Emily asked as she handed Derek his coffee  
"Doing okay, scared to death of losing her, but aside from that. I'm okay"  
"Well, if you need to debrief, you know where I am." She said just as she was about to walk off to join JJ and Reid who were walking ahead with Rossi. Derek gently grabbed her arm to stop her. Emily looked back at him curiously  
"What's up?"  
"I'm sorry," he said solemnly meeting her gaze. Emily dropped her eyes to the floor before looking back up to his,  
"It was just easier to cut myself off from everyone, it didn't mean that I don't appreciate your friendship, nor do I not value it, it was just so hard. Being with Tamara, I knew it put me in a compromising situation, which in turn put you guys in a compromising situation. I dug myself a hole and I didn't know how to dig myself out. I'm sorry if I bailed on you too. You know Pen aside, you're one of my best friends. Your friendship means a lot to me Em."  
"It's about time you realize that Morgan," she replied giving him a light shove with her shoulder. Derek grinned and draped an arm around Emily's shoulder dropping his lips to her head  
"Thank you," he murmured gratefully in her ear. Emily knew it was a multi faceted thank you, that he was thanking her not only for forgiving him, but for being there for Penelope in his absence, though if she were honest, he owed that Thank You to Hotch who was the one who picked up the pieces when he left her friend broken.

"We'll be here when you get back Pen." Reid assured her giving her hand a meaningful squeeze  
"I look forward to it G-Man. You look after my girls okay? You're in charge of keeping them in line." Emily and JJ rolled their eyes and poked their tongue out at them in mock protest.  
"I will." Reid promised. Derek stood back and waited as Hotch bent down to hug her  
"You promised." She murmured so softly that if Derek hadn't been standing so close awaiting his turn he would have missed it. Penelope did not release Hotch till he nodded,  
"I promise." He said as his voice cracked with emotion, Penelope nodded and thanked him softly knowing that she had placed a heavy burden on his shoulder and his heart. Derek wrapped his arms around her carefully but tightly  
"I love you P. Heart and Soul, I love you."  
"I love you too Derek." She answered with a nod as she rubbed the back of his neck reassuringly. He wanted to tell her that he loved her in the way that a man loved a woman. That he longed for her as a soul mate longed for its partner, but he knew it wasn't the right time. Instead he chose to be grateful that she believed that he loved her in any capacity and that she loved him in return.

As they wheeled her away Emily was torn between trying to comfort Derek to comforting Hotch who seemed shell shocked. Sensing her dilemma, Rossi made a move towards Derek and placed his hand on his Derek's shoulder. She threw him a grateful smile,

"Let's walk?" Emily said slipping her hand into Aaron's  
"Okay," he nodded in agreement wanting to get out of that hospital room, to get some air, to clear his head.  
"You want to talk about it? It may make you feel better?" Emily offered as she hugged his arm as they walked. Aaron stopped walking and wordlessly pulled her into an embrace, tucking her head beneath his chin. Penelope knew what burden she lay on his heart, and gave him the blessing to share it with Emily so that he wouldn't drown in it alone.  
"She has appointed me to execute her medical decisions should she be incapacitated." Emily's heart literally skipped a beat,  
"She's also signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)." She gasped as her knees buckled thankful that Aaron had a firm hold on her.  
"She's scared that something might happen during the operation, which is why she didn't want her brothers here. She's organized Em, she's updated her Will, she's tied up loose end," he said to her panicked  
"She's Pen Aaron. She just wants to make sure that God forbid something should happen, she wasn't leaving a stone unturned. It doesn't mean she's giving up the fight, it just means, she can concentrate on fighting for her life without having to worry about all the other things that could take her energy from it. She's going to be okay. I believe that with all my heart." Emily said looking up at him. Aaron pulled her closer to him and buried his face on her shoulder,  
"I am so grateful to have you Em."  
"Back at you Hotchner." She murmured into his chest savoring being in his arms.


	15. Chapter 15

The six of them sat in the waiting room taking turns on pacing, fidgeting and sighing from nervousness and anticipation. Emily sat between Derek and Hotch, her hand securely in Hotch's as it rests on his knee. Her other hand occasionally patted Derek's back soothingly as he sat there evidently panicked. It was almost seven hours by the time the Doctor came out,

"Aaron Hotchner?"  
"That's me." Hotch said jumping to his feet. The rest of them stood to their feet, immediately profiling the Doctor's demeanour for a clue as they stood back allowing Hotch to speak to the Doctor.  
"It took longer than we anticipated because when we opened her up, we found a few more tumours. We've managed to remove them all, we're going to have to put her through a cocktail of chemo, and I have to tell you Agent Hotchner, it's nothing compared to her last one. It's going to be hard and gruelling. The side effects are going to be drastic this time around. In saying that, your friend is incredibly strong, she put up a good fight in there."  
"That's our Penelope." Hotch replied somewhat proudly.  
"We've had to move her into the ICU so that we can monitor her closely. You'll be able to see her in pairs shortly. I'll have the nurse come for you."  
"Thank you Doctor." Hotch said gratefully, it was going to be a very long road ahead, but she was alive and that's all that mattered to them. Hotch turned back to his friends to fill them in.

"She's okay. They've found more tumours but they've managed to remove them all, but she's in for a rough ride. They've prescribed some hard core chemo cocktail that's going to have severe side effects, but he's hopeful. She fought hard on the operating table." A collective sigh of relief was shared. They knew that tough times were ahead, but Penelope was a fighter and they were going to fight with her every step of the way.  
"I'm going to call her brothers, a nurse will be out shortly to take us in to see her." Derek, Emily, JJ, Reid and Rossi nodded as they watched him head for the elevator.

"Don't you people have better things to do than watch me sleep? Well you, seeing as the rest of them are passed out." Penelope croaked. Hotch jumped to his feet not letting go of the hand he securely held in his. Penelope chuckled at the sight of her unfailing support scattered around the room, all in a state of unconsciousness with the exception of one Aaron Hotchner.  
"Aaron, you didn't all have to stay, but thank you." She added catching a look from Hotch.  
"So is it as bad as I feel?" she attempted to joke. Hotch gave her a small smile,  
"They found a few more tumours Pen, and they've managed to take them all out, but the Doctor says he has to put you on some pretty intense chemo cocktail."  
"Yeah, he warned me about that. I guess I'm not all together surprised. How did you go with my brothers?" she asked knowingly with a grin  
"Four counts of tireless reassurance and adamantly telling them that it was not necessary for them to jump on the plane right then and there."  
"Predictable, and these guys?" she asked in a low whisper not wanting to wake them.  
"They're scared, just like you but hanging in there."  
"Aaron Hotchner, you dare profile me?"  
"Now would I do that?"  
"In a heartbeat."  
"How are you?"  
"Sore mainly, everything else I plan to take one day at a time, and you?"  
"Scared," he admitted unashamedly as Penelope gave his hand a meaningful squeeze.  
"Back at you, but you know what. Knowing you're with me, along with my brothers and these guys make me less scared. Together, we can get through this."  
"Should I not be the one offering you the reassurances?" Hotch asked with a smirk  
"Well, you looked like you needed it more than I did. Shall we wake the others?" Penelope waited for his nod before giving Derek's hand which was wrapped around hers, a firm squeeze. Awakening to her touch Derek sprung to his feet,  
"Hey Sleeping Beauty," she greeted cheerfully watching his face transform from worry to relief. Hotch released her hand to wake Emily, JJ, Reid and Rossi who all rushed over to her bedside to see how she was. After a few minutes of reassuring them that she was okay they had all calmed down. Sensing that Derek wanted a moment alone with Penelope, Hotch suggested that the rest of them grab dinner to take back to the room to eat together. They didn't have to be a profiler to see right through that one. Derek who hadn't let go of her from the moment she entered the room brought his forehead to hers  
"Hey Baby girl."  
"Hey yourself," She replied running her hand across this chest trying to reassure him.  
"I'm okay Derek."  
"I know, I just, you were gone for so long and we didn't know what was happening. I didn't know, I mean, what if."  
"Hey Sweetcheeks, calm down. You'll work yourself up into a frenzy running all that through that head of yours. I'm here, right now I'm here and that's all that matters. That you're here, that we're all together. It's okay Baby, it's ok." She said soothingly as his head dropped to her neck. She rubbed the back of his head affectionately and dropped a kiss on his temple.  
"I don't know what I would do without you P."


	16. Chapter 16

Penelope insisted that with her brothers around, there was no need for all of them to be hanging around and brow beat them all to going back to work. Even Derek who fought her every step of the way, reluctantly returned to work after she begged him to.

"Derek, I'm not going anywhere. Addy will be with me. I won't be alone. I refuse for all of your lives to stop still just because I have to do Chemo." She said softly giving his hand a firm squeeze.  
"I just…" he began,  
"No regrets Derek, we start fresh remember." Penelope knew that he was crucifying himself for his absence in her life the past year, and for Penelope on the grand scheme of things, all that no longer mattered. She couldn't ignore the fact that he was all in, and had barely left her side since he had been trying to reconcile with her, and knew that it rooted deeper than the guilt he felt.  
"I just want to be with you P."  
"I know Sweetheart but you have a job. Your life doesn't stop just because mine's on slow motion. Please Derek, for me?" she bargained. Derek growled inwardly  
"You don't play fair P." he muttered,  
"I know, and I'm sorry but I won't have you, any of you stop living your life to watch me fight for mine." Sensing that she was getting upset Derek dropped it  
"Ok, but as soon as that working day is finished, I'm here."  
"I can live with that." She replied with a smile.

So her Superheroes went to work, and they checked in…a lot, which amused Penelope to no end watching her brothers field her calls, especially when it was Derek on the other side of the phone. Penelope watched as her brothers made Derek jump through hoops, which he did so willingly and without complaint, which only confirmed that he indeed was the Derek she knew and loved, and she was glad to have him back.

"How did she do?" Hotch asked closing his office door. Adam and Caleb arrived in time for Penelope's first Chemo Session.  
"She held up pretty well until we got into the car and the car started moving. She threw up all the way home. This one's bad Aaron. She had nothing else to throw up and she was still throwing up. I went to get her some Gatorade just to keep her hydrated and when I got back to the bathroom she was asleep on Caleb's lap on the floor. We didn't have the heart to wake her."  
"Where is she now?"  
"I carried her into her bed when I knew she was in a deep enough sleep that I wasn't going to wake her."  
"How are you holding up?" Aaron asked. Being the only person outside her family that knew about her illness had bonded Aaron to all her brothers. They saw Aaron as an extension of their clan. Adam had even flown in when Aaron was in hospital recovering from his injuries from Foyet. Adam provided that balance of being connected without being at the heart of it, and Aaron appreciated his friendship.  
"I'm struggling to keep it together. It's not like last time. Last time no one even realised that she was sick unless you looked close enough and saw the pack, but this one. Aaron it's her first one and she looks like she's at round three ready for knock out." Adam admitted,  
"Ads, you know your sister better than that."  
"I do, but this is my baby sister and I can't do anything for her."  
"You're doing what you can and what you're doing is exactly what she needs from you. Don't underestimate the power of having you near by. She loves you, she draws strength from all of you. Having you near, gives her what she needs to keep fighting."  
"Thanks,"  
"Anytime."  
"You guys off to a case?" Adam asked,  
"No, which is a blessing in disguise. I doubt any of us would be able to think straight anyway."  
"Don't let her hear you say that."  
"Of course, Adam I value my life!" Aaron replied while Adam chuckled.  
"You think she's up for visitors?"  
"Maybe, I'll call you a little later to confirm. Just want to see how she feels when she wakes up. I don't want to overwhelm her. I've got her phone on silent so let the others know."  
"Will do."  
"Thanks Hotch."

Emily snuck out of the office undetected and headed straight for Penelope's house. She knew that Hotch would realise soon enough, but she didn't care.

"I thought you could use a hand, you know with girl stuff." Emily rattled off as Adam opened the door. Adam smiled and waved her in.  
"That would be great. Be warned she's had a hard day. Just be prepared." Emily nodded wordlessly. The moment her eyes on Penelope she could see why Adam had warned her. Penelope, the sunshine in all their lives was currently curled into a ball, lifeless from exhaustion. Colour drained from her face, and there was an air of frailty about her that made Emily want to rush over and fling her arms around her friend, at same time frightened that she may break her. Emily walked over to the bed and gently lowered herself on it so that she could run her fingers through her hair. She loved Penelope's golden hair and curls. She guessed it wouldn't be long till they would start to fall out. The thought made her eyes water and she forced herself to pull it together. She looked up at Adam who was standing by the door who gave her a sympathetic smile. He understood the emotions that transitioned in stages on her face. Emily looked back down as Penelope stirred.

"How'd you get passed the guard?" she joked meekly,  
"I played the girl card." Em answered not skipping a beat.  
"Nice!"  
"Thought you could use someone to help you in the bath, wash your hair."  
"Ah thank you. You came just in time. I would love a bath. I have spent most of the day puking my guts out."  
"Lovely, how are you feeling now?"  
"Drained! Exhausted and dehydrated. Can you pass me the Gatorade?" Penelope requested sitting up to lean against her headboard. Emily grabbed the bottle and handed it to her friend,  
"Well why don't you down that while I draw a bath for you?"  
"That's the best offer I've had all day my friend." Emily gave Penelope's hand a gentle squeeze before rising to get her bath ready. Ten minutes later Emily had successfully gotten Penelope into the bath without any hiccups. Giving her a few moments to herself Emily went back to Penelope's bed and began stripping it of its sheets,

"Hey, you don't have to do that. I'll do it." Caleb said as he walked into Pen's room to find Emily doing her best to hold it together.  
"No it's okay. It makes me feel like I'm doing something you know."  
"I do, which is why I volunteered to run for her meds. I just couldn't sit here and watch anymore."  
"How are you holding up?" Emily asked knowing how close Caleb was to his sister. How close they all were to their sister.  
"Between you and me, I am an absolute wreck. I feel so helpless."  
"I think we all feel that way Cae, but we can only be there for her."  
"I know. Thanks for being here, you guys have been amazing."  
"She's family. There's nothing we wouldn't do for her."

Hotch had noticed the absence of Emily almost immediately, and knew where she would be. He knew there would be no point trying to stop her and the only thing that was keeping the rest of them at their desk was the paperwork that Strauss had demanded they finish. He could see from where he stood in his office that Derek was only there physically, but elsewhere in every other essence.

"Derek," Hotch said placing a hand on his shoulder making him jump,  
"She okay?" he asked alarmed.  
"She's fine. Why don't you go on ahead? We'll finish up here for you. It'll give you some time to be with her. She's had a tough day, I'm sure she would love to see you." Derek didn't need to be told twice and jumped to his feet and gave Hotch a grateful look.  
"Thanks. I'll see you guys there."

With Emily's help Penelope was in her clean pyjama's after her long hot bath feeling a lot better. Emily was tucking her back into her freshly changed bed when she caught a glimpse of a figure sitting by the beach,

"You noticed that too huh? He's been sitting there for at least half an hour." Emily grinned at her friend,  
"Does nothing ever escape you." She asked,  
"Rarely," Penelope replied grinning back.  
"He's scared."  
"That's understandable Pen, we all are."  
"I know, except he's battling his guilt for not being around the last year and I don't want to that to be his driving force, I don't want this to eat him alive."  
"He loves you Pen, it's not about guilt."  
"I know he loves me, but look at that face and tell me it's not driven and tortured by what could have been." Emily glanced back at Derek, knowing that Penelope was to a point right in her call.  
"You have been hanging around profilers too much. He'll be fine Pen, he's just processing as best as he can. He'll get there. He'll see the bigger picture, he just needs to allow himself. Just as you do." She said pointedly,  
"Well the timing of it all you know?"  
"I do, but the sooner you admit to yourself that he really does love you and for all the right reasons, the sooner you will both feel better about this, and not so trapped. You two are the limiting factors to your future and the possibilities that are there for you."  
"Sheesh, profiler much!" Penelope grimaced good naturedly,  
"Yeah well…"  
"And don't think for one moment, I didn't notice you throwing my own words back at me Emily Prentiss." Emily chuckled, it was not long ago that Penelope had given her the very same speech about Hotch.  
"Well as they say, birds of the same feather…"


	17. Chapter 17

"Addy said you're allowed to come in." Emily said as she dropped down beside Derek on the sand. Derek gave her a small smile,  
"Thanks, I wasn't exactly out here awaiting his blessing."  
"So who's blessing were you waiting for? Rumor has it you've been here for almost an hour.  
"She saw me?"  
"There's a pretty clear view from her bathroom. She's worried about you."  
"Shouldn't it be the other way around?"  
"Have you met our friend Penelope?" Emily asked with an eyebrow raised  
"True that. She okay?"  
"She's exhausted. The treatment took it out of her, and I have to admit when I first saw her I almost didn't recognize her. She looked so fragile and lifeless that she couldn't be my friend Penelope, then she looked up, saw that it was me, smiled and there she was, Penelope my best friend." Emily's eyes began to brim with tears as Derek draped an arm around her shoulders.  
"Hey, she's going to be okay."  
"You don't believe that as much as you want to Derek Morgan, why else are you out here buying time."  
"I failed her Em. How do I just waltz in there and pretend that I haven't ignored her entire existence for almost a year because I was too scared to face how I really felt about her and decided to transfer my focus to someone else because it was easier. What kind of man does that? What kind of friend does that?"  
"So you were a jackass, it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last time…"  
"Thanks Em,"  
"Let me finish. What I'm saying is in friendships, we take turns on being a jackass. The important thing is we learn from our mistakes and something tells me you've learned yours. Stop unnecessarily crucifying yourself, because that lady in there has long since forgiven your transgressions, and all she wants is to move forward. She can't do that if you're too busy concentrating on yourself and your guilt. These next few weeks should be about her Derek. Swallow your guilt. It's not going to do any one any good. Least of all Pen, and she doesn't need more things to worry about." Derek hung his head knowing that Emily was right. He had to get over himself.  
"Thanks Prentiss."  
"You're welcome Morgan."  
"I might go on in and see her."  
"She's sleeping but I'm sure she or the boys won't mind if you sit with her."  
"Her maybe, the boys still want to hang me by the neck."  
"With good reason," she replied with a smirk.  
"Thanks for your love and support."  
"Any time my friend!"

After exchanging pleasantries with her brothers, Derek made his way to her bedroom. He let out a deep breath slowly as he saw what Emily had warned him about. Penelope looked so small and so frail, and it was only her first treatment. He could see the exhaustion in her countenance, on her face, and it broke his heart little by little. He wanted to gather her in his arms and never let go. Throwing aside his inhibitions and reservations, Derek followed his heart for the first time and climbed into her bed to wrap his arms around her. Carefully he lay above her covers not wanting to wake her and draped his arms protectively around her middle scooting as close to her as possible. He felt her sink deeper into his embrace and mould against him somewhat habitually, even if it had been so long since he had been that close to her.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take you to actually make in the door."  
"Oh hey, I didn't mean to wake you." He murmured in her ear bring his face close to her head nuzzling his nose against her hair. That familiar smell of her shampoo wafted through his nose and years of memories flooded through his mind.  
"I wasn't really sleeping, just keeping still in the hopes that if I don't move my body doesn't think it's awake to throw up."  
"Good plan. How's it working for you?"  
"I haven't thrown up yet."  
"Well, it seems you have once again out smarted yourself."  
"If only. How was work?"  
"Weird."  
"In what way?"  
"In a way where we're all there but we're all else where."  
"Like?" she prodded  
"Here with you, wondering how you are. Worrying." Derek admitted hesitantly,  
"I should have known none of you would listen. Even Reid?"  
"Especially Reid."  
"Derek, you need to be there for Reid."  
"P,"  
"I'm only going to say this once I promise, but if something happens to me, you have to take care of Reid. He looks up to you, and he's going to need you to take him under his wing. You need to make sure he's okay, that he won't be overwhelmed, so overwhelmed that," and he understood without her finishing her sentence. The last thing she wanted was for Reid to revert back to his habits, he had been drug free for years and she did not want to be the reason he fell off that wagon.  
"I promise P."  
"Thank you."  
"P, when you're feeling a little better we need to talk."  
"Uh oh."  
"No uh oh, there's just a couple of things you need to know, that I need to tell you. It's important P."  
"Okay sure, give me a few days. The first day of Chemo always leaves me blurry but after a few days, right before the next round I am usually pretty clear headed."  
"Good, we have a date then."  
"Derek,"  
"No P, you need to hear it. All of it."  
"Okay," she relented.

"Hey Sweetheart." Hotch said dropping a kiss on Emily's head as he sat beside her on the beach where Derek had left her an hour before. She had been lost in her thoughts since. Hotch had watched her for a few minutes from his car, he could see the worry that was etched on her face, along with the sadness and fear that lay behind her tough exterior.  
"Hi," she replied looking up at him breaking her own trance. It seemed funny to see him sit down beside her in his suit pants, shirt with no tie and jacket.  
"We need to get you some casual wear hon."  
"Very funny. I have clothes inside just like you but I saw you here and thought you first before comfortable clothes."  
"My, I am honored."  
"You should be." He teased. Aaron wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest.  
"You okay?"  
"As okay as you are" was her reply.  
"I know seeing her like that is hard, but she's still Pen Em."  
"I think that's what makes it hard. That despite the paleness, the gaunt look, deep down behind those tired exhausted eyes is my friend who loves life so much and her body won't allow her to be that person, like a child who's hidden behind walls and walls fighting to get out. I don't know how she does it Aaron. She's so strong."  
"And it's that strength that tells me that she's going to pull through this because I am certain she will be fighting this till she wins."  
"That definitely sounds like Pen."  
"Where are the others?" she asked after a few minutes.  
"Jayje and Dave have gone to grab stuff to cook for dinner. We were thinking we'd have a barbecue, throw a few salads, and Dave's going to make his famous Minestrone for Pen if she's not up for hard solids, which I would assume she wouldn't be."  
"And Reid?"  
"He's gone to pick up Jason from the airport."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, he heard through the grapevine and he called me immediately. He wants to be here, for her and for all of us. I think it'd be good for Reid to have him around too."  
"I agree. We've all somehow paired off, and I feel like he's always on the outskirts regardless how hard we try to include him you know."  
"Yeah, Pen's worried about him."  
"Aaron, Reid wouldn't survive losing Pen. I mean I doubt any of us would, but Reid especially."  
"She knows that too Em."

By the time Hotch and Em walked in JJ and Dave had literally just walked through the front door with their arms loaded with bags. Adam and Caleb quickly grabbed the bags from JJ, being the gentlemen they were brought up to be. Hotch went out front to carry in whatever was left behind while JJ and Emily began unpacking.

"How is she?" JJ asked hesitantly.  
"She's better. She had a tough time this morning after the treatment but once the throwing up stopped she seemed to regain her Penelope-ness."  
"And Derek?"  
"He's hanging in there."  
"And you?"  
"Like you, trying to be brave." JJ smiled and gave Emily's arm a quick squeeze before the Gents joined them in the kitchen. The commotion downstairs was loud enough to wake Penelope who wasn't sleeping incredibly soundly anyway.

"Handsome, will you help me downstairs?" she asked.  
"You sure P?"  
"Yeah, I don't want to be in bed when they see me today. I think they'll see that soon enough."  
"Okay," Derek shuffled out of bed as Penelope sat up pulling back the covers. Taking the blanket by the windowsill he covered her with it before sliding his arms beneath her leg and back,  
"What are you doing?" she asked amused  
"Either I carry you down, or you stay up here."  
"You're mean Derek Morgan!" she pouted,  
"So not going to work P."  
"Fine caveman." She muttered in resignation. Derek smiled and kissed her temple.  
"You know you love it"  
"Whatever!"

"Ah sleeping beauty awakens." Hotch announced as Penelope and Derek descended from the stairs. JJ and Dave did their best to hide their shock at how pale and weak she seemed, more than she was after the surgery.  
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I would have walked down here but He Man insisted on being a caveman carrying me downstairs."  
"Well at least he's put his brawn to good use."  
"Gideon!" Penelope exclaimed as she heard him come through her front door with Reid close behind.  
"Hey Garcia. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by.  
"Your lying skills haven't gotten any better in the last few years Jason."  
"Yeah well." He replied with a shrug as he walked over to her and gave her a somewhat awkward hug.  
"Thanks for dropping by. From the looks of it, a feast is about to be prepared."  
"Yeah, Dave and JJ have taken over your kitchen." Adam pointed out,  
"As long as it's not Emily." Derek teased earning a smack from Penelope.  
"You leave my girl alone. Not everyone was born to be a chef."  
"P, she burns popcorn."  
"Well, depending on the model of the microwave, it's easy to do." Emily muttered defensively sticking her tongue out at Derek.  
"Some things don't change I see." Jason observed in plain amusement.  
"That they don't my friend, come through to the kitchen Jen and I could use your skills." Dave said laying a hand on Jason's shoulder.  
"Lead the way."


	18. Chapter 18

Penelope's Chemo cocktail pretty much drained her of any energy. On the days that she didn't have Chemo she spent trying to regain the energy she lost. Despite her efforts to the contrary, she spent the next few weeks barely mobile. She went from the couch, to her bed, to the hammock that Derek and Hotch had set up for her on her back porch. Her brothers had stayed close as promised. The team resumed work, after much reassurance from Penelope that she was going to be okay. They checked in daily, while Derek checked in every few hours. Hotch had offered to give him time off, but Penelope would not allow it. After being called away for a couple of weeks they did not even bother to go back to the office, it was unspoken that they would head straight to Penelope's. They had all been in touch with her, and as the days wore on the more exhausted she sounded on the phone and their worries increased. Hotch had been in close contact with Addy, who had refused to go home, which in itself alerted them that all was not as well as Penelope presented on the phone.

"I should have known." Adam said with a chuckle as he opened the door to find the BAU's finest at his sister's doorstep.  
"You know she's going to yell at you guys for coming straight here instead of home first right?"  
"We can take her." Emily answered with a smirk knowing that Adam was right.  
"How is she?" Derek asked as they followed him into the living room  
"She's had a rough few days, so be warned." The six of them solemnly nodded as Adam led the way to Penelope's room where she was still sleeping. There was an intake of breath as they saw to what extent Adam meant when he said rough. In the time that they had been gone she had dropped more weight. Emily's eyes began to water as she saw that her friend's golden locks were now replaced by a scarf that was securing her now bald head. Emily felt Aaron's hand slip into hers giving it a gentle squeeze. Adam motioned for them to follow him out of the room so that their commotion wouldn't wake her.  
"The day after you left, she was brushing her hair and chunks began to fall out. She was devastated and asked me to shave off the rest. Cae and Jas were here at the time, and in their typical Cae and Jasper solidarity shaved their heads too, there's some pretty funny photos of the three of them as a result." Adam recalled with a smile. It had become harder and harder to make Penelope laugh and that was the first time he had heard her laugh so freely in awhile that if it meant she would keep laughing he would have shaved off his own head. Derek kept looking longingly at the stairs.  
"Why don't you go on up Derek?" Adam suggested sensing that all Derek wanted to do was be with Penelope. Derek looked at Adam gratefully and nodded. He took off to the stairs two steps at a time as they watched him somewhat concerned.  
"I may need to put him on force leave despite Pen's protests, he's not going to be able to cope being away for her for so long again."  
"You may find that she's not going to fight you on that anymore. I think she's hit the point of scared. She's been having nightmares too."

Without a thought or hesitation Derek took his shoes off and climbed on the bed wrapping his arms around her. Penelope woke to his touch as she felt his familiar arms around her.

"Hey handsome, welcome home."  
"Hey P." he replied somewhat despondently.  
"What's wrong Baby?" she asked turning to face him acutely aware that he only loosened his grip momentarily before tightening his firm hold on her. She saw the exhaustion in his eyes, but beyond that she could see the pain and fear behind them,  
"I'm still here." She assured him placing her hand on his cheek. Derek brought his forehead to hers,  
"I know you want me to go on with my life and that you don't want to be holding me back, but P I can't pretend you're not sick. I can't pretend that I am not frightened that one of your brother's is going to call me one day to tell me you've taken a turn for the worst and I can't get to you. I just want to be with you. Please, let me do that." He begged.  
"Okay." She relented knowing that there was no talking him down  
"I'm okay Derek. I'm right here." She said trying to reassure his panicked state  
"I just don't want to lose you." He murmured in a painful confession  
"I know sweetheart, I wish I could guarantee my immortality, but I can't. I can only tell you that I am fighting with every fibre of my being. But honey, you can't stop your life for the what if's, because at the end of the day, if I do die, I'm going to need you to live your life, and live an extraordinary life for the both of us."  
"I don't know how I am supposed to do that without you."  
"You just have to." She answered softly she said running her hands up and down his chest soothingly.


	19. Chapter 19

On the last legs of her Chemo, Penelope was confined into hospital. She had caught a virus that weakened her even more and alarmed her Doctors. Much to her chagrin, they had insisted on confining her into hospital to keep an eye on her. It was hard for her family and friends watch her struggle but they were inspired by her determination and fighting spirit. She fought, and she fought hard. The team were out on a case and though Derek had taken some time off to be with her for a couple of weeks, they both agreed that he couldn't use all his leave to keep vigil until they knew anything. Penelope had begged Adam not to tell them that she ended up in hospital not wanting to alarm them, Derek especially who would have more than likely rushed to her bedside. Reluctantly he agreed.

"Penelope Garcia you are so going to get a spanking." Derek Morgan bellowed from the doorway of her hotel room. Penelope cringed and turned her head looking sheepish. She gave Derek her best puppy dog look and pout in an effort to deflect his oncoming wrath  
"Don't you even try that with me Baby Girl. It's not going to work."  
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you guys while you were out on the field. You're all on the edge as it is and the last thing I wanted is to get you all distracted while you're catching the bad guys. This is nothing. If I felt it was serious I would have insisted Adam call you. How did you find out I was here anyway?" She asked curiously knowing that Adam had taken the day to visit his office in New York for a meeting.  
"We all went back to yours after the plane landed and almost all had a coronary to find no one at your place and for your neighbour to say that you were rushed to the hospital in an ambulance."  
"I'm sorry." She said genuinely trying to appease him.  
"It was just an infection, my fever spiked and because I haven't been coping extremely well with this new cocktail, they are taking every precaution. I'm fine. I promise." Derek softened knowing he couldn't really be mad at her.  
"So where's the rest of the gang or is there a line people outside wanting to spank me awaiting their turn?"  
"You can say that." He answered walking over to her dropping a kiss on her forehead.  
"How are you really?"  
"Tired. Too much poking and prodding but I guess its all part of the territory."  
"Can I get you anything?" he asked.  
"No Sweet Cheeks having you here is more than enough."  
"Don't think you can sweet talk yourself out of getting in trouble. The moment you're better you will be punished."  
"You wouldn't."  
"If he won't I will." Hotch grumbled walking into her room with the rest of them behind him nodding in agreement.  
"Hi guys. I've missed you." She greeted cheerfully knowing that they would all be a little mad at her at that point. She tried to explain to them as she did with Derek that her heart was in the right place, and at the end of the day, none of them really had the heart to be mad at her.

"So I get to go home today!" she announced happily  
"Are you sure?" Hotch asked suspiciously.  
"I am hurt that you could imply that I would be lying." Penelope gasped in mock despair earning a chuckle from the rest of her friends.  
"I wouldn't put it past you." Hotch replied rolling his eyes at her.

That afternoon as promised Penelope was sent home in the capable hands of her brother and friends. Despite the hospital stay and infection Penelope was looking a lot better than she had when they first left for their case over a week before. She had regained some colour and though she had not gained any weight in their absence, she had finally stopped losing weight. She was in high spirits and they were all happy to see the change in her.

"You're looking good Pen." Em complimented they lay in the hammock with JJ  
"I feel so much better. The incessant throwing up has finally subsided. I've been spending most of the time out here with a book wrapped tightly in blankets and the fresh air and sun has made all the difference. I'm so glad the treatments over though. Maybe I can finally send that brother of mine home to his family." Adam had been with her since she started chemo. He had flown home during the couple of weeks that Derek had taken off to be with her, but insisted on coming back despite the fact that Aidan had flown in for his week.  
"He's so my Dad."  
"It must be nice to have him around."  
"It is. I'm so glad you guys have gotten to know him and the rest of the brothers better and vice versa."  
"So when's your check up?" JJ asked the eternal question.  
"A week from tomorrow" Penelope answered  
"You ready?"  
"Yeah, anxious to have it over and done with. I mean, if I know, then I can you know…" JJ and Emily took a hand each and gave it a firm squeeze offering their solidarity no matter what the result. They had long since decided that they were going to stand with her whatever her decision should the news be less than what they had hoped for. Penelope needed to be able to draw strength from them, and she did.

Much to their relief the week leading up to Penelope's appointment they were not sent out on a case giving them the opportunity to hang out with their friend at her beach house every chance they got. They've all but moved in with her. Every night there was at least one or two people outside her brothers staying the night. Sometimes it was all of them at the one time which always made her feel like she was at camp. She loved having them around and they loved being with her. They had found that Wii was a great source of entertainment and Guitar/Band Hero was a priceless tool for hilarity. Having Rossi on Bass, Hotch as a Lead guitarist, awkward Reid surprisingly able on the Drums, JJ and Emily on vocals provided endless fun for Penelope, her brothers and Derek who watched in great amusement.

On the night before her check up she awoke in the middle of the night thirsty. Careful not to wake Emily and JJ who were sharing her King Size Bed she rose slowly from her side of the bed. Derek had installed a bar fridge in her room to house her liquids. She walked quietly to the fridge in the corner of the room and caught a glimpse of Derek sitting on the beach. Throwing on one of his hooded sweaters that she had long since claimed as hers and grabbing a blanket she headed out to join him.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join?" she asked softly breaking his reverie. Derek looked up and smiled patting the space in front of him. Penelope sank between his legs allowing him to wrap his arms around her a she leaned against him. Taking the blanket he skilfully covered her making sure that she was warm.  
"I love you P." he murmured in her ear.  
"I love you too Handsome."  
"I'm in love with you Penelope Garcia, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Penelope's breath caught for a moment as she looked turned to look at his face,  
"Don't look so surprised. I told you we needed to talk. I said there was something I wanted you to know, so I'm telling you. I know you're scared about tomorrow, which is why you have been putting off this conversation every time I bring it up, but I don't care what tomorrow brings P. I love you and I want us to be together whether we have another hundred years together or months or even days. I want to know that you and I loved each other to the very best of our capacity for as long as we can." He paused for a moment,  
"Denying how we feel isn't going to make it hurt any less if the results don't work to our favour P."  
"I know. I just didn't want to start US on this note you know. I don't want it to be about Cancer."  
"Whether you had Cancer or not I would have been camping out in your porch from that night onwards P, because if I learned anything in those months without you its that heart and soul you own my heart Penelope and no running from it will ever make it less true."  
"Derek if I don't get better…. Are you sure about this?" she asked  
"I've never been more sure of anything, P."  
"Yeah Hon,"  
"Marry me." He whispered in her ear. Penelope glanced up at him as he smiled with a nod,  
"You heard me." He answered her bewildered look. Derek had taken her left hand and slipped a simple white gold solitaire ring on her finger.  
"So are you going to let me make an honest woman out of you?"  
"Oh my God yes." She answered wrapping her arms around his waist as he pulled her tighter into his embrace.  
"I love you Derek, heart and soul I love you too."

"They make you want to believe in fairytales don't they?" Emily murmured softly as she felt Hotch's arms wrap themselves around her waist as they watched Derek and Penelope from door. Emily had awoken to find Penelope missing from beside her and wanted to make sure she was okay. Hotch had hear Emily's familiar footsteps pass the room that he was in with the boys and followed her out. He had stood from the stairway watching her as her face lit up seeing Derek and Penelope together.  
"Yeah, but I already believe in fairy tales because I have you." He replied dropping his lips to her neck. Emily turned and wrapped her arms around his waist resting her head against his chest  
"Well you certainly are my Prince Charming, the one from Sleeping Beauty"  
"Because he can dance," Hotch added as she grinned up at him with a nod  
"She's going to be okay right?" Em was seeking guarantees  
"I truly hope so Sweetheart. What a truly bleak world it would be without Penelope Garcia."  
"I couldn't cope,"  
"We can only pray Sweetheart, whatever happens, this family is strong and we will get through it." Hotch said bravely, not at all fooling Emily knowing just how much he loved their friend.  
"I got your back Baby!" she whispered giving him a tight squeeze.  
"And I have yours. always" he promised.


	20. Chapter 20

To say that they were all anxious, and a bundle of nervous would have been an understatement, when Penelope came down from her shower ready to face the day she found them all in the kitchen stoic in their own little world till they heard her come down and nervous chatter began. She had to smile at their attempt of keeping things in the norm. Dave was busy in the kitchen with Gideon who arrived earlier that morning. There was a feast of waffles, bacon, fruit and baked goods that she knew it was Dave' way of keeping busy and trying to deflect all their thoughts to the one place it would be. Her appointment was at noon and after much deliberation it was agreed that it was not necessary to have all of them come with her, as much as they would have liked to. In the end she had chosen for Adam to accompany her.

"Don't be mad at me, but I am going to my appointment with Adam. I know you want to be there and hold my hand, and as much as I would love you to, it's all too overwhelming and…" she began to ramble while Derek gave her arm a gentle squeeze.  
"It's okay P, I understand." Truth was, as much as he wanted to be there, he wasn't entirely confident that he wouldn't break down in front of her should the results not be to their favour. He also knew that the less people, the less pressure on Penelope and all he wanted was for her to be as relaxed as possible, if that were even possible.

"You ready Pen?" Adam asked as they finished up with Brunch, all were acutely aware that Penelope merely played with her food instead of eating it.  
"As ready as I'll ever be Addy." She replied rising to her feet, the rest of them following suit. There was a line of them waiting to give her a hug before she headed out the door. Derek and Hotch were at the end of that line.  
"You're going to be okay." Hotch said trying to swallow the lump on his throat.  
"I know." She murmured, he placed his lips on her forehead before letting her go.  
"Whatever happens Baby Girl, we win." Derek promised holding her tightly against his chest. Penelope fingered the ring on her hand and nodded,  
"Yup! We win."

Adam and Penelope sat side by side silently at the doctors waiting room. Adam was watching her from the corner of his eye. She was a million miles away. He grabbed her hand in his and placed it on his knee. Penelope looked up at him and smiled.

"So he finally asked." Adam observed noting the ring on her finger. Penelope blushed, with everything that was going on she hadn't even announced it to anyone.  
"Yeah, this morning at the beach. He wants to marry me. He said that whether we had a hundred years or a few weeks, he didn't care. He just wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together.  
"Finally the boy grew a brain." Adam said earning a light shove on his shoulder with hers.  
"I know, I'm happy for you Bug. I really am. I just like giving him a hard time. It's a perk for being your eldest brother."  
"I assume he asked you first anyway."  
"All brothers and Hotch."  
"Wow, that's impressive." She said surprised.  
"We've all had THE talk with him." Penelope groaned as Adam grinned confirming the loops that they would have subjected Derek to  
"I'm surprised he's still my friend let along want to marry me. With all of you at once, I shudder at the thought."  
"Well he'd be stupid to let you go again."  
"Says my somewhat biased older brother ladies and gentlemen."  
"Yeah well."  
"Penelope," the Dr called out from the doorway of her office. Both Garcia's sat up straight, both afraid to move for a moment because the moment they entered that office, there was no turning back. Adam stood up first and held his hand out to Penelope who took it with a small smile on her face. Regardless the results, she was ready.

"So Penelope, it seems that the Chemo Cocktail we have you on seems to be doing their trick. We have seen an encouraging progress on eliminating your tumors. I would recommend that we continue on with one more cycle, and assess from there. I am hopeful. What do you say, one more round of Chemo."  
"With that kind of result, I say bring it on." Penelope answered with a huge grin as Adam through his arms around her happily.

Penelope was in high spirits as they drove home. They had even made a detour to the Supermarket for some serious Ben and Jerry's Celebration Ice Cream. She hadn't called anyone wanting to surprise them all with the news.

"Listen Ads, I want you to go home. You heard the Doctor, the Chemo is working and most of the tumors are gone. I appreciate that you stayed for the whole duration, and I can never fully express how much it helped knowing you were there the whole time, but no more putting your life on hold. I know you miss Olive and the kids and they miss you. You need to go home."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes Big Brother, I am fine. You'll be leaving me in capable hands and I promise to call you every day just to annoy you."  
"That you better. Fine, I'll call Olive tonight and head home tomorrow."  
"Good!"

As the car drove in the driveway the room full of people sitting in Penelope's lounge room looked at each other somewhat frightened of the news that would enter in moments, though they had all entertained worst case scenarios, they weren't as brave as they were trying to project to Penelope.

"So here's the deal...as of today, remaining brothers go back to your families, BAU family, you will resume your daily routine pre Penelope cancer, because you are looking at Penelope Garcia with 80% free of tumors." It took a moment for what she said to register, and when it did there was an uproar. Derek who had wrapped his arms around her the moment she walked through the door, looked at her searchingly as if looking for confirmation, which she provided with a nod. Grinning Derek took her in his arms lifting her off the ground in total happiness, within moments she was surrounded by them all awaiting to give their congratulatory hug.  
"Oh and while we're here," Penelope looked at Derek who nodded knowing what she was asking,  
"Derek asked me to marry him and I said Yes." Emily and JJ let out a squeal that almost broke a window leaving the boys highly amused as they watched the three girls jump up and down excitedly while their arms were wrapped around each other. It was finally a good day for all.

As the girls started talking wedding the boys excused themselves to get dinner ready. Penelope had requested a barbecue and campfire and there was still much to do. The grin on Derek's face did not move from his face, in fact the grin on all their faces remained the whole evening.

"So has the wedding planning extravaganza began?" Derek asked as walked hand in hand down the beach,  
"No, not yet. Though in saying that I think Jayje and Em may have already designed their bridesmaid dresses."  
"They certainly were excited."  
"That they were."  
"How about we set a date?" he suggested.  
"Really?"  
"Of course. The sooner I get you to honor and obey me, the better." Derek teased with a sparkle in his eyes. Penelope chuckled,  
"Yeah right, we'll see how long that lasts."  
"Name the day sweetheart, because if you were to ask me I'd say tomorrow."  
"No way Bucko, I will not encounter the wrath of Emily and JJ because I deprived them of being Bridesmaids."  
"That is true."  
"I would really like to be finished with Chemo and maybe not look like Kojak on our wedding day."  
"I understand the chemo part as for the other thing I think you're crazy. You're the most gorgeous Kojak I've ever met."  
"Aww Baby you're so biased." She said with a chuckle.  
"Only telling you the absolute truth." He said it with so much sincerity that it was hard to believe otherwise. He pulled her to his chest wrapping his arms securely around her.

Hotch was packing up the chairs on her porch when they got back to her house. Penelope gave Derek a meaningful squeeze before making her way over to Hotch wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Oh hey you guys are back." He said surprised returning her hug. Derek gave them both a wave before making his way into the house to join the others for the beginnings of Band Hero.  
"So engaged and almost cancer free."  
"I know. Crazy huh!" she said pulling him down to sit beside her on the steps.  
"It's great Pen. I'm so happy for you."  
"Thank you Aaron, for everything. For being my unfailing rock, you truly have become my brother in every essence of the word and I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but whatever it is, I'm glad because I don't think I would have survived all this without you."  
"The honor has been mine Penelope Garcia. It's always been a two way street between us. I am just as grateful for and to you for who you are in my life."  
"We certainly make for a pretty nauseating mutual admiration society huh?"  
"That we do, but it's what makes us an us."  
"Ain't that the truth." She said looping her arm through his before resting her head on his shoulder watching the waves on the beach in their comfortable silence.


	21. Chapter 21

Penelope continued with the second round of her Chemo, and much to all of their relief, she was coping much better than the last time. She was down to one watch person, instead of what had become the minimum of six. As she had sent her brothers home, and insisted for the team to go on as before, Gideon had been the one that transported her back and forth from the hospital. While there it was no longer a surprise that someone from the team would drop by during her treatment to stay with her for the duration if they weren't on a case.

"Hey Baby Girl, how are you feeling?" Derek asked  
"Hey Handsome. I've felt worse. I'm feeling bored more than anything. How's the case going?"  
"Slow. We keep hitting walls, this Unsub has been ahead one step at a time, its getting frustrating." He admitted.  
"What are the chances that you'll let me use my laptop for anything else but solitaire and Facebook right now."  
"No P, you should be resting, if it wasn't over my dead body, it would certainly be over Hotch's."  
"Put him on the phone."  
"P…"  
"A girl can only update her Facebook status so much in a span of hours Derek. I am dying of boredom here. Please, if you love me you'll at least let me ask Hotch." Derek sighed,  
"You so don't play fair P."  
"I know, now put me on to Hotch." Derek walked over to Hotch and handed him the phone,  
"I tried to tell her, but she won't listen to me, she's thinking she's going to have more luck with you"  
"Does she now? Dare I ask what it's regarding?" Hotch said as he spoke into the receiver.  
"Please please please let me work this case. I can access from home and you have my word as well as Gideon's that I will not leave my bed."  
"Penelope should you be resting?"  
"I think I've slept enough for this lifetime. Come on Hotch, I'm bored. You know I am asking you purely out of politeness because I can access all that information without your go ahead. Your clearance may be higher than mine but I can hack into yours and give me the clearance I need."  
"You're a pain in the ass, you know that right?"  
"Yes I do and I own it. Please Hotch, I promise the moment I don't feel well I'll stop."  
"Alright, but you don't get out of that bed, and don't think I won't keep checking with Gideon."  
"Yes DAD!" Penelope answered happily.  
"I'll have Prentiss send you the particulars."  
"I worship the ground you walk on Hotchner."  
"Yeah yeah!" Hotch grumbled as he hung up.  
"And you say I am whipped?" Derek said is disbelief shaking his head in amusement,  
"She's going to get what she wants anyway, with or without any of our blessings." Derek chuckled knowing he was right.


	22. Chapter 22

After an extremely long and tiring case, the Team had exhaustedly made their way into the bullpen dragging their feet along. It was a tough case and they all struggled with the number of kids that they lost. Aaron longed to see Jack and it had been written all over him all the way through the case. Penelope spoke to each of them throughout the day just trying to keep their spirits up. Though she wasn't officially allowed to be back in the office, she was allowed to work from home, mostly confined to her bed which she made do with. Her last dose of Chemo was shortly after they left. Hotch was the first to notice Penelope sitting on Derek's desk with a grin on her face. It had been weeks since they had left for the case and they hadn't seen her since her Chemo so their face lit up at the sight of Penelope looking much better than they had remembered. Derek broke into a Speedy Gonzales run enveloping her into his arms within seconds.

"You're a sight for sore eyes baby girl." He whispered softly in her ear  
"Flatterer." She replied with a smile rubbing his stomach affectionately.  
"Move it Morgan, the rest of us want a hug too." Emily said gently shoving Derek with both hands,  
"Nice Prentiss." Emily grinned and hugged Penelope, with the rest of their team close by awaiting their turn.  
"Not that we're not happy to see you but what are you doing out of bed?" Hotch asked trying to sound stern,  
"Listen Hotchner, I'm treatment free so I am no longer by your unreasonable demand to keep me tied to my bed. Besides, as of today I am cancer free so you my friend no longer have an excuse to boss me around!" It took a good few seconds for them to catch on to what she said,  
"Baby girl?" Derek looked at her questioningly awaiting her nod of confirmation  
"You all heard me." She replied grinning from ear to ear. Derek happily took her in his arms once more lifting her off the ground.  
"Put me down Handsome. You're going to have Strauss out here in a second."  
"I don't care. You're really okay."  
"I am." She said turning to Hotch and wrapping her arms around his waist. In a lot of ways, this was their victory. He had been there from the beginning, and she needed him to know how much that meant to her.  
"That's incredible Pen." He stated happily returning her hug. Emily grinned at them both.

"Let's go out and celebrate." Hotch declared feeling a second wind, as the rest of them agreed.  
"Jason has beat you to it, he's cooking up a storm at the house and he threw me out of my own home so I can come and greet you here."  
"Well let's go!" Em said looping an arm through Penelope's. When Emily stopped short Penelope looked at her friend worriedly feeling her stiffen beside,  
"Em what's up?" just as she had asked the question she saw Tamara standing before them.  
"Hi guys." She greeted somewhat awkwardly sensing that she had walked in on a private gathering  
"Hi Tamara. How are you? It's been a long time."  
"It has. You're looking great Pen." She complimented. Despite the bald head beneath the scarf, Penelope was glowing.  
"Thanks, you too. Well we're off. We'll leave you and Derek shall we?" Penelope said. Derek watched as their whole team gathered somewhat protectively around Penelope.  
"See you later Derek, bye Tamara." Derek didn't miss the look that Hotch threw in his direction. Em who's arms remained looped in hers felt Penelope shake a little. Sensing possible distress JJ had looped her arm through to the other side of Penelope. Derek was watching them, and excused himself from Tamara for a moment, running ahead of them so that he could stand in front of Penelope. He cupped her face with both hands,  
"Baby Girl, whatever is about to unfold in there doesn't change what we have. I love you. I am going to marry you. I need you to believe in that." His eyes pleaded with hers.  
"Okay," she replied not at all convincingly before getting in the lift with the girls.

**Sorry for the angst in the midst of the celebrations… I'm in an angsty mood. I promise to make it better for the next chapter. Don't hate me!**


	23. Chapter 23

As hard as Penelope tried to not let her mind wander to the one place it insisted, it was almost a losing battle. Her friends however had made it their mission to keep her entertained. At the stroke of genius Hotch had called Hayley and asked to pick up Jack therefore locking in a major distraction. Penelope had to love his creativity, despite how transparent it was.

Derek drove home to Penelope's like a mad man. Aware that every minute that ticked by was a minute that doubt could creep in and that was the last thing he wanted. He had left his SUV in the Quantico car park opting for his motorbike which he was glad he had left before they went out on the case.

She was out on the beach with Jack and they were building sandcastles. As she watched Jack with a smile on her face, he could see that her thoughts were far away. Aaron had heard him drive up and practically fall of his bike in his haste.

"I know man, you don't need to say it."  
"Good. She's out back with Jack."

Emily walked out with Derek so she could take over hanging out with Jack so Penelope and Derek could talk. Penelope had heard the roar of his bike as he neared and knew a talk was on the cards. She had barely enough time to process in her mind. She hadn't expected his return so soon.

"Hey," she greeted.  
"Hey P. Can we take a walk?"  
"Sure…" he saw the hesitation in her face, as though she was scared to hear what he had to say. It took a few moments before he spoke,  
"I'm sorry P. I know seeing her would have hurt you, make you question us, but you need to hear something. I asked to see her." He said stopping placing both hands on her shoulders.  
"I wanted to give her back her brother's cross because it didn't seem right for either of us that I keep it. It deserved to go to someone who is going to remain in her life, and I couldn't promise that I would. Not just because of us, but because I think we've fulfilled in each other's lives that purpose we had. I was going to talk to you about it, but I didn't want to do it over the phone. I didn't think she'd show up so soon. I thought I'd at least get a chance to talk to you about it. P, I want us to move forward without any baggages. I wanted you to know that the moment I said I was all in, I was. There is no one else in this world I want to be with. I needed to give her back that cross to release us both"  
"Are you sure that this is what you want. I mean…"

"P, I didn't declare my undying love for you because you were sick or thought you were dying. I love you. I want to be with you so badly it hurts to breathe when you're not nearby. You're my best friend in the whole world and no one knows be better than you do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I know anything less than that would be settling for mediocre. I know you love me. I know that despite everything, down to your very core you love me, the same way I love you. I know how lucky we are that we have that. That most people dream about what we have for a whole lifetime and not even come close, we have it P."  
"I know." She said softly leaning her forehead against his chest. Derek's arms wrapped themselves around her pulling her close to him, resting his chin on her head.  
"You still going to marry me?"  
"Of course" she answered looking up at him. Derek brought his lips softly to hers. Penelope's knees weakened as their kiss deepened. Holding on to her tightly Derek poured all of his emotions into their kiss eliminating any doubt that may have crossed her mind.

**There you go. Short and Sweet. Shame on you guys of little faith thinking I would impregnate Tamara with Morgan genes! I just wanted to tie up loose ends =) thanks so much for your reviews!**


	24. Chapter 24

With Penelope Cancer free and back to work, everything was almost back to normal. Their team was definitely closer than they've ever been, and the bonds within their family had only strengthened. Most of their time was still spent together. There was no denying that things had began to change between JJ and Rossi, that the once soft spot Rossi had held for JJ had evolved into something more.

Penelope was balancing her laptop bag, hand bag and groceries while trying to open her front door when her phone began ringing.

"Of course it would ring right now." She muttered as the door finally opened and she dropped everything on the table to dig into her hand bag for her phone.  
"Garcia," she answered not knowing who it was that was calling her,  
"Penelope its Fran."  
"Hey Fran! How are you? How come you're coming up as Private? Who are you hiding from?" she asked teasingly, while Fran laughed  
"You got me!"  
"So on what flight will I picking up my favourite almost mother in law."  
"What's this almost rubbish? What's with the in law business? You know you have been Morgan the moment I met you all those years ago."  
"See, this is one of the many reasons why I love you so much."  
"The feeling is mutual my darling." Penelope and Derek had sent Fran a return ticket to Virginia to spend time with them, and for her and Penelope to do some wedding 'research' together. Penelope throughout the years of their friendship had grown close to Fran, so it seemed only fitting that she was part of the wedding planning. When Penelope got sick, it took all the begging for her to remain put. Penelope didn't want Fran to see her so sick.  
"So my flight arrives tomorrow afternoon at 3. Is that okay?"  
"Of course it is. I will be there. Derek and the gang are on a case and they are hoping to be done by morning, so luck on our side he will arrive tomorrow night with the team. I thought we could grab a coffee and there is this place I want to show you."  
"Is it THE place?" Fran asked excitedly knowing that Penelope and Derek were still looking for the perfect place to get married.  
"It all depends on what you think of it. Derek wanted me to show it to you without him so you do it without bias."  
"Well, with that kind of a lead up how could I not."  
"True, but you shall see it tomorrow. I am so looking forward to having you visit. Just so you know, I've kidnapped you and taking you to my place."  
"Oh I am looking forward to seeing that beach house of yours."  
"Well I hope you like it because I insist you stay with me for the duration of your stay."  
"Ooh, throw in that bonfire I keep hearing about and hot chocolate and you got yourself a deal."  
"Sold to Mama Morgan!" Penelope exclaimed dramatically while Fran laughed good naturedly.  
"I'll see you tomorrow kiddo."  
"Have a safe flight."

Penelope was putting groceries away when her phone started buzzing again which brought an automatic eye roll as she heard the ring tone. Despite that she had been well and Cancer free for months, they all still checked in with her to make sure she was okay.

"Hi Hotch, you guys all wrapped up?" she asked knowing that they had reprimanded the Unsub and were just handing over to the local PD.  
"Yep, we're flying tonight instead of tomorrow."  
"Good, I've missed all of my superheroes. Is my human wrecking ball in one piece."  
"Yes he is. Not a scratch."  
"Good, I would have to kick his ass if he got himself injured."  
"How are you feeling?"  
"I'm good Aaron. Not a sniffle in sight."  
"Good. Keep it that way." He said sternly.  
"So aside from your daily check up what else goes on in that mind of yours?"  
"You should really consider hanging up that tech thing and consider profiling," Aaron said dryly with a smirk,  
"Ah evasiveness, you should know that doesn't work with me Hotchner."  
"Alright alright," he grumbled as Penelope waited in anticipation on the other line  
"I sort of broached the topic of marriage with Em."  
"And??"  
"She panicked."  
"Oh, you know it's not because she doesn't love you right?"  
"I do, but…"  
"She's scared Aaron."  
"Of me?" he asked while Penelope sighed before answering,  
"Of never living up to Hayley."  
"There's no comparison, they're two different people."  
"True, but its common knowledge that you and Hayley didn't split up because you stopped loving each other. It was because your job got in the way." Penelope tried to explain.  
"What she thinks one day I will change my mind?" Hotch wondered out loud incredulously.  
"Stranger things have happened, while I know you would never have entered that relationship if there was a doubt in your mind, Em's just scared. Try to see it from her point of view. Remember when she joined the team you and Hayley were still blissfully married. She had sat through, and endured many night outs watching you and Hayley,"  
"I guess, but I love her Pen."  
"I know you do, and so does she. You just need to give her time to get used to the idea, and stand your ground. Don't take no for answer, prove to her that it's not so easy to scare you away."  
"Now see, what would I do without you as my voice of reason?"  
"You'd be lost without me Hotchner. You know it and I know it. So if we're done here, I believe dinner is in my future."  
"You haven't eaten dinner yet? Penelope Garcia it's after nine in the evening." Penelope cringed knowing she had said the wrong thing,  
"Shhh Aaron. Why don't you say it louder, I don't think Derek heard you in Siberia!" Aaron chuckled,  
"Oops, too late. Sorry." He apologised as Derek who just entered the meeting room caught the tail end of their conversation. Hotch passed the phone on to Derek  
"Do you want to explain to me why you Penelope Garcia have not yet had dinner?" Penelope groaned vowing to smack Aaron real hard the next time she saw him.


	25. Chapter 25

Derek came home to find Penelope and Fran sitting side by side on the porch steps out back. He watched as they talked animatedly. From the words he was catching they were talking wedding. He loved seeing them together. He loved that they got along so well. It meant a lot to him that Penelope loved his mother almost as much as he did.

"So is this a private party or can anyone join?" Penelope and Fran's head whipped around to see him standing there with a grin on his face.  
"Hey Ma." Derek said pulling her into a hug,  
"Hi Baby, I've missed you."  
"I've missed you to Ma. You get in okay?"  
"I did. Pen and I had a great afternoon and a pretty chilled out evening."  
"Good I'm glad. Hey Baby Girl."  
"Hi Handsome, it's so good to have you home." Penelope murmured into his shoulder as her hugged her tightly.  
"It's good to be home."  
"Why don't I warm up your dinner plate, you and your Mom catch up for a bit. I want to check in with everyone anyway."  
"Thanks Baby Girl." Just as she was about to walk away he caught her hand in his. Penelope stopped as if to ask what he was doing, to which he merely grinned and brought her palm to his lips before letting her go. Fran's heart warmed at the sight of them  
"So have I told you recently, it's about time?"  
"Thanks Ma. Most kids they get have I told you recently that I love you, not Mama Morgan." Derek said in a mock hurt tone of voice.  
"You already know I love you."  
"And I already know you think I took too long." He quipped.  
"Well as long as we've established that."  
"It's concrete Ma. Trust me, I hear it from all of you. Hotch, Rossi, Emily, Reid, JJ, Des, Sarah and the list keeps going on and on."  
"Aww Baby you know we mean it with love."  
"Uh huh."

"Hey Honey, you guys get home okay?" Penelope said as she answered her phone. She had sent the usual mass text reminding them to check in as she put together a dinner plate for Derek.  
"Yeah, I just walked in." Em said tiredly  
"Your place?"  
"Yeah, I just needed time to you know digest."  
"Understandably honey."  
"You should have seen his face Pen,"  
"He knows you love him."  
"I hope so."  
"He does. Besides, I got your back."  
"Where would I be without you Penelope Garcia?"  
"The feeling is mutual honey. You up for lunch tomorrow?"  
"I thought Mama Morgan was here?"  
"She is, we are going to look at one more place and I'm sending them off to do their own thing."  
"Thanks Pen, don't think I can't see right through you?"  
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I'll let Jayje know."  
"Sounds like a plan. Giraffe? 1pm?"  
"Sold. Try and get some rest honey. Don't over think it."  
"I'll try."  
"Good. Night hon,"  
"Night Pen."

"Hey Jayje,"  
"Hey Pen, I was just about to call you. I think Em needs a girl pow wow."  
"You read my mind. Tomorrow 1pm at Giraffe?"  
"I'm there. I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Night hon."  
"Night Pen."

Just as Penelope brought Derek's plate out her phone began ringing again.

"You're going to want to pick that one up." He said recognising Hotch's ring tone.  
"It's okay honey, Derek and I can catch up for a bit. Take your time." Fran assured her seeing that she felt conflicted.  
"Thanks!" she said gratefully as she ran to take the call  
"It's Hotch, he and Em are having issues, and Pen's his best friend."  
"Ah," Fran replied understanding that they were a tight knit bunch that had grown considerably closer since Penelope's illness.

"Hey you home?"  
"Yeah I'm here."  
"She just needs time to think. You took her by surprise and you know Em, she needs to process things, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you or that she's having second thoughts."  
"Then why does it feel like that?"  
"Because you're scared to lose her, but Aaron deep down this isn't about second thoughts. It's Em. The very person who has to know what coffee she's going to order before we even leave for Starbucks. Whose closet is arranged by colours. Its part of her quirk. You love that about her. So don't read more into this than there is. She didn't say no. She just needs time to get used to the question."  
"You think."  
"I know! Hotchner, how many times do I have to tell you to stop doubting me. I am after all the Goddess all knowing." Aaron grinned,  
"Thanks Pen."  
"You're welcome. Now if this crisis has been averted, I have to get back to my in law to be."  
"Oh shoot, I forgot. I'm sorry."  
"Don't be silly. Here if you need me, it's in our DNA."  
"Pen, we don't have the same DNA." He pointed out,  
"Huh, fancy that. And to think you're just as annoying as my brothers, that's probably what threw me off."  
"You're hilarious!" he said dryly.  
"I know, and don't think for a moment I forgot that you got me in trouble last night." Aaron cringed,  
"Oh yeah, I did didn't I?"  
"Uh huh, and you will pay Hotchner."


	26. Chapter 26

After a great morning with Mama Morgan and Derek, Penelope was looking forward to catching up with her girlfriends for a few hours. After their lunch, they were going to head back to Pen's to set up for a BBQ in honour of Fran's visit.

Derek had dropped Penelope off earlier as requested as she had a couple of errands she needed to do at the mall before meeting up with Emily and JJ. One of which was a surprise for the girls. Penelope was sitting at the restaurant navigating wedding details from her iPhone. Emily smirked at the sight of her friend sitting at their table with brochures, and quotes in front of her at the same time making lists on her iPhone.

"Careful, your face could freeze that way." She teased as she approached the table. Penelope's face turned from confused to a smile as she looked up to see Em standing before her.  
"Very funny Agent Prentiss." she said rolling her eyes as Em bent down to kiss her cheek hello. Penelope wrapped her arms around her friend in a hug. Emily tucked her chin on Pen's shoulders and sighed,  
"I've missed you Pen."  
"I've missed you too Em. Sit sit, Jayje is running a little late so she said to go ahead and order for her." Emily nodded and sat beside Penelope,  
"I love him,"  
"And he knows that,"  
"So why can't I jump for joy that he actually wants to commit to me?"  
"Because you're scared he'll change his mind, because for some reason you don't believe you deserve to be happy, that you deserve a happy ending, which I don't get by the way."  
"That's because you choose to see the best in everyone Pen, you refuse to see the faults in those you love."  
"No, I choose to see past them. All your attributes make you who you are, even the annoying parts." Em smiled as Pen gave her shoulder a light nudge.  
"In saying that, you are one incredible person Emily Prentiss with this massive heart. You have this innate ability to make someone feel important, loved and cared for. I can attest to that. I am one of the fortunate ones who get to do life with you. He loves you Em. Dare I say more than Hayley. He will always love Hayley, she was his best friend all the way through high school, she saw him through law school, through his start at the BAU, she gave him their son, but what he feels for you, exceeds that. There's a passion in his eyes that lights up when you walk into the room. He is himself when he is with you. He never filters, he's just Aaron. You understand him better than Hayley ever did and she would be the first to tell you that. The man she fell in love with, and married is not the same man we know today. Time changes people Em, and while he and Hayley grew apart, you have learned to grow together, without effort or even consciousness. Don't discount that for the sake of your insecurities. I won't let you."  
"Loving him as much as I do scares me."  
"Then imagine what he must feel knowing that he is a packaged deal with numerous baggages."  
"Pen, we all have baggages."  
"Then stop being so hard of yourself for yours, you deserve to be happy Em. I know in your heart you want to spend the rest of your life with him."  
"I do,"  
"Then tell him that. If you need him to slow it down a notch, then tell him that, but let him know that you have the same ending in mind." Em was silent for a moment and then rolled her eyes,  
"You know I hate how you simplify my life like that." Penelope chuckled,  
"Right back at you Babe,"

After lunch the three of them were trolling the mall arm in arm. They had a bit over an hour before they were due home, and Penelope had a plan.

"So while we're here there's something I wanted to show you. Now I know we were all supposed to go together, but something caught my eye and one thing led to another," Penelope rambled as her friend looked at her in confusion till they stood in front of a Bridal shop.  
"Really?" Em asked excitedly. The three of them had planned to go dress shopping the weekend before but they were called out on a case.  
"I went to grab lunch last week and I walked past and this dress caught my eye and one thing led to another, I was inside trying it on. I love it, and I think it's the Dress, but I want your opinion, because if it looks hideous then obviously I wouldn't want to wear it on my wedding day."  
"Pen, honey breathe! Go try it on." JJ said gently pushing her friend towards the door.

"Penelope, these must be your bridesmaids." Jenna, the woman at the counter greeted  
"Hi Jen, these are my best friends Emily and JJ. They're here to check out Sabina,"  
"Of course you've named her already." Emily said amused  
"Hey she came with her own name thank you." She replied poking her tongue out at Emily.  
"Ladies, you're adults remember." JJ reminded them with a chuckle.  
"It's already in the dressing room waiting for you. I slipped in shoes that came in today that I thought would look perfect with the dress." Penelope beamed and gave Jenna an appreciative hug,  
"You're the best." Emily and JJ exchanged a knowing smile. It was typical that Penelope would end up friends with the person selling her her wedding gown. They could see Penelope's clothes flying off as she excitedly got ready to put her wedding gown on.  
"Do you need me to zip you up Pen." Jenna called out a few minutes later,  
"Yes please, and oh my gosh Jenna these shoes are perfect. You're the ultimate genius." Jenna laughed and excused herself to zip up Penelope. A few minutes later Penelope emerged from the dressing room with a grin on her face. Emily and JJ both gasped,  
"Penelope Garcia you're beautiful! That is the perfect dress!" Emily exclaimed tearfully as JJ dug into her back grabbing a tissue both her and Emily.  
"You like it?" she asked  
"We love it? It's perfect!"  
"Now if only my hair would grow faster that would be great." Penelope said somewhat disappointedly running her fingers through her short wispy hair.  
"It will honey, you have plenty of time for that." JJ assured her.  
"So what did Mama Morgan think of your dress?" Emily asked with a grin,  
"How did you, she loved it." Pen answered knowing that she had been caught out.  
"So Jen, I guess there's a consensus, Sabina it is."  
"Like I had any doubt!" Jenna replied with a smile.


	27. Chapter 27

"So I will see you in a few weeks before the wedding." Fran said affectionately hugging her daughter in law to be. It had been a lovely week with Penelope, Derek and their BAU Family. Fran appreciated that Penelope valued her opinion, and that she made her a part of every step of the wedding. After much deliberation, Penelope and Derek had finally chosen a date. Derek was willing to wait months till their wedding, knowing that Penelope had wanted her hair to be back to normal, but as the days passed, Penelope knew it was silly to hold off on their future because of that fact alone. Truth was, life was too short and she wanted their 'Happy Ever After' to begin as soon as possible.

"What goes on in that pretty head of yours Baby Girl?" Derek asked one evening as he joined her on the back steps. Fran and Derek had shooed her away from cleaning duties and she had gratefully disappeared to take a walk along the beach  
"What would you say to moving up the wedding date? In a few weeks, say 7th of August?" Derek beamed,  
"Really?" he asked the date not being lost on him at all. It was the anniversary date of when they had first met, the day he uttered the words that would change their lives forever, 'Baby Girl'. Penelope smiled,  
"Yeah, I know I said that I wanted to wait till I get my golden locks back, but I don't want to wait anymore Derek. I want us to start the rest of lives now, not a year from now. Who's to say my hair would ever grow back anyway. So I guess, as long as you don't care that I look like Kojak on our wedding day, why not?"  
"I'd marry you now if you'd let me."  
"Only if you want to encounter the wrath of your mother, sisters and our family for depriving them of a wedding, JJ and Emily would skin you alive if they didn't get to ear those Bridesmaid's dresses they have finally picked out."  
"God forbid. So…the 7th of August."  
"Yup, then you'll be all mine." She replied with a grin.  
"Baby, we don't need to get married for that. You already own me." He said taking her face with his hands drawing his lips to hers.  
"Well, I want to make sure you'll also be legally bound to me."


	28. Chapter 28

"So you're really going to marry him huh?" Hotch asked with a smirk leaning against the doorway of her kitchen. It was the day the before the wedding and everyone was making sure that they had ticked every box and dotted every line ready for the big day. Penelope turned around to face him wiping her hands with the tea towel and grinned.  
"I sure am. Can you believe it?"  
"Hardly, it's about time." Penelope rolled her eyes at him and greeted him a kiss hello on his cheek.  
"Where's Em?" he asked noticing that the always noisy Garcia cottage was eerily quiet.  
"She, JJ and Fran have gone to pick up our dresses from the seamstress."  
"I thought your dress was done ages ago? Haven't you been trying it on every chance you get since you bought it?"  
"Yes, but when I tried it on the other day it was too loose so I had to get it taken in." Aaron looked at her worriedly,  
"I'm fine Aaron. The doctor did say it may take awhile before I am able to retain any weight."  
"But if your dress is loose, doesn't that mean you're losing weight."  
"Aaron…"  
"Sorry, just making sure you're okay."  
"And you would be one of the first to know if I wasn't."  
"Well, I suppose I do have pretty good sources."  
"Yeah your sources are always better than mine." She replied dryly knowing that Aaron was in several speed dials, which always amazed her.  
"How's Derek holding up?" she asked knowing that her groom to be was not at all impressed that Operation Separation Bride and Groom kicked in early that morning instead of midnight as they both assumed, but Rossi had other plans for him. Penelope knew that Emily, Fran and JJ were also behind whatever it was he was orchestrating. They had planned a day of pampering for all of them, which was to begin the moment they returned from their last minute errands that they had banned Penelope from accompanying them.  
"Aaron Hotchner are you here to babysit me till they return?"  
"Why do you need babysitting?" he retorted joining her on the steps.  
"You're funny? Did you at least bring my ring bearer to keep me entertained?"  
"No, Hayley's taking him for a haircut so he can be even more handsome than he already is."  
"And why isn't Emily taking you for your haircut?" she teased tousling his shaggy hair.  
"Hey…"  
"Oh the brothers asked me to remind you that you're all meeting at the Four Seasons for dinner, apparently they couldn't get in touch with you."  
"Yeah I spoke to them just before I got here. New phone, I'm not used to the new settings and ringtones just yet." Penelope chuckled in amusement earning a light shove from Aaron.  
"I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow. What a year hey?"  
"It sure has been eventful."  
"So not where I even imagined I would be."  
"Life's full of surprises and you deserve this one Pen."  
"Thank you. So when are you planning to make your big move?"  
"Easy, she's only stopped clenching at the word marriage, I don't want to frighten her away." Penelope laughed. Though Emily was still quite hesitant for Hotch to get down on one knee, she was definitely warming up to the idea.  
"You'll know when it's the right time. I have complete faith in you."


	29. Chapter 29

The wedding was beyond Penelope could have ever imagined. She was surrounded by the people she loved the most in the world, and marrying the man she had loved from the moment she laid her eyes on him. It was the fairy tale ending for what began as turmoil filled season of her life. A season she wasn't quite sure she was going to finish, and now she was marrying her best friend. The look of love in his eyes quenched any doubts anyone had about how Derek felt about Penelope, most importantly to Penelope. In the months that they began to restore their friendship, as he stood by her through chemotheraphy and everything else that her illness brought, it only drew them closer together. At her most vulnerable moments, he too shed his walls and revealed so much of himself, that there was no doubt in her mind that she trusted him fully and vice versa. It wasn't just about love, trust and their unique connection, it was more than that, they were soul mates and whatever seasons they had endured to lead them to their wedding day, it was worth it.

As Penelope marched down that aisle in the arm of Adam, beaming with happiness Derek couldn't hold the tears back that threatened to fall nor did he want to. She was finally his, after everything, he was going to be able to live the rest of his life with her, and that's all that mattered. She was beautiful beyond measure, and his love for her only grew by the second.

Penelope gave Derek a grin as she his face light up at the sight of her, as she came closer she could see the tears that welled in his as he quickly wiped them away not wanting for his vision to be blurred as she walked towards him. He mouthed 'I love you' as Adam brought her to him to which she mouthed the same words back. It was a brand new day, and everyone in that room knew it's value and after everything they had been through with Penelope, they knew they would never take it for granted.

THE END

_**Thank you so much for your patience with me, and my long awaited updates. My life is crazy busy at the moment, and I hardly get a chance to sit still and that iPhone is not Word friendly therefore I can't update from my phone as I used to be able to from my e63. Anyhooo, I thought I'd end it here. Fear not, a sequel may find it's way to surface soon. Thank you for your reviews, I know I haven't been very good at acknowledging them lately, but I truly do appreciate it, and without it, I wouldn't be as spurred on as I am.**_


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